TO BE OR NOT TO BE
(3/1/24) Confucious once said that you really find out what a person is made of when times are tough. With that said, Confucious is dissappointed with one Lebron James aka King James. Confucious is also perplex why did this guy would call himself “King” if he only dribbles a basketball. Kings in the past did not have time to play basketball because they had other important matters to take care of. Confucious may not know basketball but he knows in the western world what a fraud looks like when he sees one. Recently, the so called “King” is dissapointed with the local media because they are saying his “jester” son Bronny won’t be drafted in the first round.
Lebron tweeted….
“Can yall please just let the kid be a kid and enjoy college basketball,” “The work and results will ultimately do the talking no matter what he decides to do. If y’all don’t know he doesn’t care what a mock draft says, he just WORKS! Earned Not Given!”-Lebron James
This was after a Mock draft which projected Bronny James outside the first round. This obviously pissed Lebron James because how dare these so called analyst called Bronny mediocre and not worthy of any team’s first round pick. Does these people know who I am and that Bronny James should be a top 3 pick. Ok let’s stop the sugar coating here and let’s face it…Bronny James just plain sucks. If anyone watches USC games late at night, you can tell right away he is nothing special. He doesn’t look smooth and at times awkward. The kid averages 5.5 points per game so let’s not called him a scoring threat and grabs 2.8 rebounds per game…most kids in college can’t shoot so grabbing a little over 1 rebound a half any kid can do. Here is the one glaring stats that reveals that Bronny sucks. The kid shoots 62% from the free throw line. Free throws don’t lie. All the top tier NBA players can all shoot at least 80% easy from the line except for Giannis but he has work hard on his free throws so let’s give him credit. How in the world does Bronny shoot only 62%??? Does Lebron not make him practice shooting 1000 free throws a day or does Lebron just make him shoot 10 free throws a day and if he makes 1 he can come in for supper?? If Lebron did make him shoot 1000 a free throws a day and this resulted in Bronny shooting 62% in college then its not outside the realm of possibility that MAYBE Bronny is not gifted and just plain mediocre at best. I am sure the USC coaches when talking among themselves is shaking their heads and saying we used up a roster spot on this kid because his dad made a “donation” to USC??? Anyway, lets get back on track on this quote…Lebron wants us to leave his kid alone after disappointed with the mock draft. Lebron brought this upon himself because he was the one overselling Bronny to everyone before the world saw Bronny play. Lebron is the one constantly telling teams that if they want him..they need to draft his son. Lebron was also heard saying as recent as January 2024 that Bronny can play for the Lakers now , easy. Slow down the hype train dude! Now that the media is not hyping up Bronny, Lebron doesn’t want to hear it??
Lebron also mention that Bronny doesn’t care what a mock draft says….and Lebron is right!! Lebron himself is the one that cares ALOT about what the mock draft says and this latest mock draft is hurting Lebron’s ego. Lebron is facing a future where he might not play with his son. However, his son can still be on the same court as Lebron in the capacity of a water or towel boy.
THE POWER OF THE MADNESS
(3/19/24) The answer is Zero….that is the number of brackets that I filled out. As the years go by I find myself filling less and less brackets and 2024 will be the year that I am done with brackets forever. The love is gone but the love of filling out brackets is still in the blood of most people. In Corporate America most companies are banning brackets and you run the risk of being on the unemployment line if caught but Americans like to take risk. The bragging rights of having the best bracket and collecting that prize pool boost your status and makes you a legend among peers.
SOMEWHERE IN CORPORATE AMERICA AFTER THE TOURNAMENT…..
Jim from Accounting: Hey you want to go out this Friday?
Lucy from Finance: ewww…get out of my face loser! I am going to report you to human resource for harrassment……oh wait…aren’t you the one that won the NCAA bracket????
Jim:*sigh* yea that would be me.
Gal:I would love to go out this Friday!!!!
Winning the bracket is tough but if you do it can be a life changer. Jim no longer dreaded waking up in the morning and going to a job he hates…he now wakes up and can’t wait to get to work an hour early. He now actually combs his hair and smells good and doesn’t wear the same shirt 3 days in a throw. Jim from Accounting went from eating lunch alone on a daily basis to “THE MAN” at his company. He basically went from Clark Kent to Superman all because he took Purdue to win the tournament!! Guys at his company are now giving him the wink and index finger point and can’t wait to give him fist bumps. Girls are secretly hoping he would ask them out. From walking with his head down during the day and only leaving his cubicle when its absolutely necessary such as an actual fire…he now walks with a swagger just like Connor McGregor with his arms flailing. He makes over 50 trips to the water cooler during an 8 hour shift because he wants to be seen! Everyone pauses when he steps foot in the cafeteria and he gets strangers offering to buy him a slice of pizza and offers to throw his lunch away for him when he is done. It gets better as his confidence is soaring and productivity just went through the roof. His boss is happy and is ready to give him a 1% raise.
So good luck to everyone and hope you all become “Jim”.
MADNESS INSIDERS #1
(3/1/24) March Madness is a big spectacle and whether you are filling out a bracket, part of gambling pool or wagering on these games you will be pulling your hair out in some of these games. We will go into some aspects of the madness.
HIT THE DAMN FREE THROWS!
For god sakes, these college kids can’t shoot free throws to save their scholarship. Shooting free throws should be the easiest part of basketball. You just stand there and shoot with no defense. The best part is you can actually practice and practice by yourself until you become a great free throw shooter. Yet these kids are still atrocious. In college basketball, there is a rule that inside 1 minute and at crunch time you deduct 25% of their season free throw percentage. For example, if a guy shoots 70% for the season and if he is at the free throw line inside 1 minute to go in the game you deduct 25%…he then actually becomes a 45% free throw shooter. These kids cannot stand pressure and if the camera is able to pan to a view of their shorts…most of these kids will be pissing all over themselves.
Here is just one example of poor free throw shooting…
Duquesne vs VCU conference championship game.
Oh no!! VCU is in big trouble, they just foul Duquesne’s best free throw shooter!! This guy shoots 95.2% during the season and its a one and one. Guess what happens next….thats right! He misses….and a close up of his shorts shows what looks like urine flowing down his legs…The guy just pisses all over himself when it matters.
23 SECONDS LATER….
With 9.7 seconds left… another Duquesne player is foul and can really put this game away..Its two free throws this time. From the look of things this guy is already defeated and is wishing he rather be in his dorm room playing video games. This guy shoots 76.2% during the season so you figure he is going to make AT LEAST 1 right??? WRONG!! HE MISSES BOTH FREE THROWS!!! Cleanup not in aisle 5 but at the free throw line and some please bring this guy a new pair of shorts…like his teammate that shot 95.2% for the year, he soiled himself.
In conclusion don’t let these free throw shooting percentage fool you..inside 1 minute, you can throw whatever they shoot during the season out the window. The only answer is start tracking free throw percentage inside 1 minute when teams are separate by 4 points.
MADNESS INSIDERS #2
(3/24/24) March Madness is a big spectacle and whether you are filling out a bracket, part of gambling pool or wagering on these games you will be pulling your hair out in some of these games. We will go into some aspects of the madness.
TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS!
When you are a top 3 seed, you need to blow teams out. The top 3 seeds in each region in the first round blew teams out by an average margin of 20 points. The one team that choke??? The Kentucky Wildcats coached by the Great John Calipari..getting bounce out in the first round twice in the last two years???!! First we need to stop with the “I am proud of these kids” from Calipari..These so called top recruits from all over the country assembling on Kentucky couldn’t stop some dude by the name of Jack Gohlke? Jack Gohlke had 364 3-point attempts compared to just seven 2-point attempts for the year…where was the scouting report from the Kentucky assistant coaches? Anyone with a brain knows that maybe you should just ignore everything Gohlke does inside the 3 point line and to stick to him like glue at the 3 point line. The dude is literally a 1 trick pony and the Wildcats kept paying admission to see this guy shoot 3 pointers. Speaking of admission….The University of Kentucky has an admission rate of 95% which pretty much means if you can just write your name on their college application you will be accepted.
Also thanks to Kentucky, 98% of the bracket got busted and we can forget the “perfect” bracket paying a million bucks. Since its baseball season, John Calipari reminds us of Mike Trout…Trout would put up these monster numbers during the season but when the playoffs rolls around..Trout becomes a AAA player who can’t distinguish between a fastball and curveball and just resort to the “just let it rip” swing. The question now becomes should Kentucky fire Calipari? The answer is pretty simple and it comes down to this.. Getting knockout in the first round, shame on you, getting knocked out in the first round AGAIN!, shame on me…Getting knocked in the first round 3 TIMES!!, John Calipari needs to be terminated and replace by John Connor.
This article is sponsored by Kentucky Fried Chicken and this month they are having a special promotion at participating locations in Kentucky. Come in for some fried chicken and you might see some Wildcats player having more success manning the fryer station then the 3 point line.
MADNESS INSIDERS #3
(3/26/24) March Madness is a big spectacle and whether you are filling out a bracket, part of gambling pool or wagering on these games you will be pulling your hair out in some of these games. We will go into some aspects of the madness.
PLAY FAST!
There are 16 teams left and what do most of these teams have in common? They play fast. Playing fast is how you win in college basketball. Teams need to keep attacking and just take the first open shot. Passing the ball aimlessly from side to side beyond the 3 point arc is a total waste of time. Making sure everyone on the team touches the ball once is a waste of time. Working the shot clock down to 8 seconds to get a good shot is not efficient because most of these kids can’t create their own shot and panics when the clock is within 3 seconds. When you play fast, players are in a rhythm and the defense is constantly scrambling. A defense scrambling will eventually tire out and the offense will face less pressure. Playing fast will also lead to more fouls from the defense. Look at the box scores and see the difference in free throws from teams that play fast. These teams are all capable of scoring over 80 points easy. Houston normally is a slow team that likes to grind it out defensively, has also decided to speed the game up by scoring 100 points with 14 coming in overtime. Its easier to pick who is going to win which game from this point on. Always take the team that play faster.
WORDS OF WISDOM
(11/3/23) The sports world is filled with more fake and stupid people combine than the 3 million rats scurrying throughout New York City. However, there is one man who is not afraid to speak the truth about these athletes and we just love this guy. That man is Charles Wade Barkley. Just like Wade Wilson, he doesn’t care whether you like him or not. Barkley recently had his view on one Ja Morant. Ja Morant for those that don’t who he is…Morant wants to be recognize as more than a basketball player, he wants the world to know he is “hard” and not afraid to brandish a gun to prove how gangster he is. He was caught 2 times on video but we believe 3rd time is a charm so be on the look out for his next video.
Our top 4 guns we want Morant to show on his next video.
- Terminator’s shotgun
- The flame thrower from the movie Aliens
- The GE M134 Minigun ( Jesse Ventura’s gun in the Predator)
- Han Solo’s blaster for Star Wars fans
Charles Barkley words of wisdoms about Ja Morant and our breakdown:
“He’s caught with a gun, he gets suspended and then, less than two months later, he gets filmed again on Instagram with a gun and you’re like, ‘Kid can’t be that stupid,’”
Defintely, he CAN be that stupid. His agent probably ranks Morant as the dumbest client he has and Murray State where Morant went to college can no longer promote a higher learning. Campus police are told to pat him down when entering campus and under no circumstance can the campus police let Morant borrow their guns . Morant wanted to gift the school a shooting range but it was apparently shot down. ___________________________________________________________________
“We’re not like teachers. We’re not like firemen. We’re not like policemen. We’re not somebody who’s in the service. We’re not a doctor. Those are five real jobs,”
Barkley is right! We need to distinguish between real jobs from people who just dribble and put a ball through a basket and then pound their chest. Real jobs are jobs that serves a purpose to the community. No one has ever call a basketball player for anything. You never hear the following….
Case 1: I don’t feel well, someone call a basketball player.
Case 2: My house is on fire, someone call a basketball player.
Case 3.I don’t understand this math problem, maybe a basketball player can show me
Case 4: Help!! someone is choking, is there a basketball player in the restaurant???!!!
So chances are whatever is going on in our lives, we never have the need for a basketball player.
___________________________________________________________________
“Real jobs [with] people who will never make a lot of money and all you have to do is dribble a stupid basketball and stay out of trouble.
MONEY GRAB
(7/3/23) What better ways to celebrate our first article back then on the eve of the 4th of July. As America is celebrating its independence so are we at Playbook Perspective. Sometimes its hard for people to understand but its ok to hear a different Perspective on sports or whatever. The great thing about being a human being is that we are all different and we are not lemmings following each other off a cliff and saying the same thing. Lemmings however do exist in the media and these guys are afraid to tell the truth because they can’t think for themselves. Everyone needs to relax and stop trying to “cancel” everything that they don’t like. So on this 4th of July, let’s just relax with your fellow human beings and enjoy some burgers, hot dogs, steaks and a cold beverage. Leave the fireworks to us so to speak. To make up for lost time, this article might be a bit long.
NBA Trades and Free Agency
Its money grab season and once again its an opportunity for the front office to show how stupid they are by offering stupid contract. The following are such contracts.
WINNER OF THE MONEY GRAB…
Fred VanVleet 3 year $130 million with the Rockets. $43 million average for this guy? The Rockets are at least 5 pieces away from a championship team. Houston may looks like its shooting for the moon but they are shooting themselves in the foot. Hiring Ime Udoka was also a mistake especially when he ask “Where all the white woman at?!!” on his first day on the job.
LOSER OF THE MONEY GRAB…
Russell Westbrook 2 year $8 million. Maybe the Clippers think they were paying for Russell Wilson. There has to be some extra hidden incentives for Westbrook to take a deal like this. As much as we like to make fun of Westbrook, he is the only player in that NBA that really gives it 100% every night.
WE HIT THE LOTTERY!!…
Max Strus 4 year $63 million with Cavaliers and Gabe Vincent 3 year $33 million with Lakers. Take out the post season and these two guys are mediocre at best. This remind me of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and these two guys just found the Golden Ticket.
FREE MONEY, HEY, I’LL TAKE IT…
I once bought a rose for a significant other but it only lasted a week and I had to throw it into the trash. Don’t tell the Timberwolves how fragile a rose is. Derick Rose got 2 year $6.5 million. Rose will probably play 5 games throughout the 2 year contract… so basically the Wolves paid $6.5 for the so called “locker room” leadership. It would have been cheaper for the Timberwolves to hire a motivational speaker and usher him into the locker room before each game to motivate these players.
MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS THE FANS TO THE GAME..
Shake Milton 2 year $10 million Timberwolves..Not often is someone name Shake. Give credit to the Wolves for this great marketing move. Shake Milton won’t do too much helping the team win but he will help sell plenty of milkshake at the concession stands and the Wolves claim their milkshake is “better than yours.”
FORGET WINNING…
Donte DiVincenzo 4 year $50 million Knicks. From Golden State to New York Knicks. “All I want to do is win!” does not apply to this guy.
BIG BROTHER WATCHING OVER YOU…
Seth Curry 2 years $8 million Timberwolves..Steph Curry 2023 salary $52 million. Safe to assume Steph took all the good genes in the family. Big brother will let little brother borrow money if need be.
TALL SLOW WHITE GUYS…
No love for these guys…Mason Plumlee 1 year $5 million. Cody Zeller 1 year $3.1 millon. Our advice to them is spend and invest wisely although they are still financially well off then 99% of Americans.
The cash grab season is coming to an end but next season it will start up again and plenty of owners will have their check book out and mindlessly giving out contracts. Unfortunately, it won’t be that easy for working Americans who can’t dribble or shoot a basketball. Our only option is to head to our local convenient store for a quick pick or some scratch offs.
NBA PRIMER
(4/20/23) Nothing like Spring. Birds chirping, flowers blossoming, afternoon showers, baseball underway and did you do your taxes yet? The deadline was April 18th and the IRS wants their money. We also have the NBA playoffs and while we have different teams in the playoffs there are things that remain the same year after year.
Annoying MVP champ. There are 16 teams in the playoffs so according to the clueless fans there are legitimately 16 MVP candidates. There is only 3. You have Jokic who doesn’t really care if he wins it AGAIN. You have Embiid who really really really really wants to win it..some guys say they don’t care about individual awards…Embiid on the other hand…CARES ALOT!!. Giannis doesn’t look like he cares too much, he just want to euro step and dunk on you. Everyone else is not in the MVP conversation. So please stop with the MVP chant whenver a guy is shooting a free throw.
Refs sucks chant. Never trust a refs because these guys either is betting on the game privately or know someone that has money on the game. These guys control the game by just blowing the whistle and putting a guy in foul trouble. **Betting Advice Alert!!!** (If you see the ref under the basketball calling alot of fouls early in the game, that game is going over!!) If you really want to know how corrupt these guys are…research their lives and you will see most are millionaires.
Draymond Green annual assault. Its a tradition for this guy to hurt someone whether is a groin kick, leg trip, cheap elbows, head butt, head kick etc and this playoff he revealed his latest Mortal Kombat move…the chest stomp on Domantis Sabonis. Green is suspended for game 3 so there will be less violence in that game. But don’t worry once Green is back on the court, we will see some new creative assault. Who knows.. maybe he might do a Scorpion spine rip on De’Aaron Fox. We might see the ASPCA (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animal) get involve.
Morant like flashing guns, gang signs and go around trying to knock out kids. Maybe God is trying to send Morant a message ..What would the Grizzlies do without Morant? Game 2 result without Morant….Grizzlies 103-Lakers 93..Memphis really miss him alright, Maybe Morant should find less violence activities utilizing his hands such as doing hand puppets.
As always..its all about Lebron. When Austin Reeves was taking over the final minutes of game 1 and carrying the Lakers to victory, you can see Lebron wasn’t all too excited because it was suppose to be Lebron leading the Lakers to victory. Reeves’s stole the spotlight from the King and if Lebron was really a king, Reeves would have been thrown into the dungeon and beheaded at dawn. It was tough for Lebron to walk to the locker room sulking and noone stopping him for an on court interview to tell him how great he was. Also can we stop with the gesture of Lebron putting a fake crown onto his head. The great king has lead the Lakers into the playoffs not as a 1 seed, not a 2 seed, not a 3 seed and not even a 4 see but a play in game.
Complaining and more complaining. Every foul is like an event. Players complaining, coaches complaining, fans boooing, players hopping around with palms up in the air. The annoying immediate finger twirling in the air from somone that is incredulous that a foul was called on him and wants a challenge. Refs then huddles around the replay monitor for an eternity and finds out Mr. Finger Twirler did indeed foul.
Listening in on the coach in the huddle. Can we stop with this insight? The fans does not need to hear the same lip service from these coaches over and over again. It is a bunch of hogwash and completely useless. How many times do we really need to hear phrases such as: we need to execute, get back on defense, keep being aggressive blah blah blah…absolute garbage. Let me be a coach and I can spew the same lines over and over. Its a broken record and viewers are home don’t care.
10/2/23 Against Celtics….Darvin Ham: we need to execute, get back on defense, keep being aggressive.
2/4/23 Against Bucks…Darvin Ham: we need to execute, get back on defense, keep being aggressive.
3/28/23 Against Warriors…Darvin Ham: we need to execute, get back on defense, keep being aggressive.
4/2/23 Against Bucks…Darvin Ham: we need to execute, get back on defense, keep being aggressive.
bunch of blah blah blah……….
The NBA playoffs is only bearable to watch because people wager on these games. Take away the wagering and most would not care. The first round series should not be best of 7. It should be best of 5. How about a 1 game win or go home first round. That will definitely makes things interesting. We get that the NBA wants a long series so they can milk it and make as much money as possible. This is made possible by the refs and they know what to do.
NOT FULL OF HOT AIR
(4/10/23) Movies are meant to be watched in a theater and it doesn’t matter if you have a 75 inch TV at home with surround sound. It is not the same. There is something about watching a big blockbuster at the theater with every seat occupied and the whole audience is into the movie. Throw in some popcorn, nachos, curly fries and a slushy and its “leave me damn alone for 2.5 hour!” time. There is also nothing wrong with watching a movie alone. Some would call it pathetic but over the years I am sick and tired of asking my guy friends to go to a movie and they have to check with their wives and girlfriends to sign their permission slip. Maybe they are the ones that are pathetic.
This weekend, once again I was at the theater alone to watch a great movie. The place was packed and I was surrounded by total strangers and I can 100% guaranteed that Lebron James was not in attendance. The movie in question is Air. This is a great movie about how Nike was changed forever because of some kid from North Carolina. After watching this movie, can we please stop with the conversation of who is the greatest of all time in the NBA. Sure, Lebron James also had a movie and from the creative mind of Lebron we ended up with Space Jam 2?? Maybe down the line, Lebron might have a new movie called “Bus” where its about an athlete who drives a bus and tries to throw everyone under it so he can run them over..not once, not twice, not three times etc.
So while millions will be hitting the theater to watch Air over the next few weeks, Lebron will be rewatching himself in Space Jam 2 in his home theater crying and throwing a tantrum that Jordan once again is taking the spotlight away from him. Space Jam 2 was a complete flop and moviegoers were not lining up to see James and his acting skills. James and his image could not save his pitiful movie. The movie had a budget of $150 million and made $163 million worldwide. Another animated movie, The Minions:Rise of Gru had a budget of just $80 million and made $939 million worldwide. Lebron James outdone by Kevin, Stuart and Bob.
If you are a sports fan, you need to go watch this movie and if you spot some strange guy sitting all the way in the back row wearing a hood and crying constantly during the movie…you know that is Lebron.
MORE TO THE MADNESS
(3/15/23) Most people think March Madness is just a big basketball tournament. A tournament made possible by all the great colleges and universities across this great country. The last time I check there are no March Madness in the Middle East or Russia, only in America does March Madness lives. For a couple of weeks this great country will only care about college basketball, brackets and wagering.
March Madness has also made people smarter. March Madness has made everyone better slackers especially people working in the corporate world. You learn how to use bathroom breaks more efficiently. Holding it in and then saying you have to use the bathroom when the game is close and coming down to the last minute. You learn to always blame what you ate last night when asked why are you spending so much time in the bathroom as you watch games and check scores while sitting on the toilet. You learn how to hide your screens when another fellow worker is nearby. You learn how to act busy even though you finished a few hours ago. You learn how to hide your bracket underneath another pile of paper and secretly look at it when noone is around. You learn how to use your dramatic acting skills and rush into your boss’s office and tell them you have an emergency and needs to leave right away so you don’t miss the tip off for the 2pm games.
March Madness also made some of us heroes among our peers. I remember years ago working in coporate and we have this giant bracket contest and it cost $50 to enter and there was like 100 entries. Back then, all the managers reminded everyone that filling out a bracket was not allowed. It was considered gambling and the company does not want anyone doing it. Guess what, nobody cares and we did it privately. Long story short I had the best bracket when it was over. When news got out that I won the bracket. I would get the eye wink and finger point from people I didn’t know whenever I roam the hallways at work. They knew who I was. I was a legend for that one year. My walked also changed and I started walking with a swag. My boss quickly got wind of the bracket and I got called into the office. I admitted I filled out a bracket and he wanted to fired me but realizing he needed me more than I needed the job..he just gave me a warning. A few years after, I left the corporate world all together. I was sick of climbing that corporate ladder and besides I was afraid of heights.
Good luck to everyone’s bracket and remember its not how good you are at picking winners..its how many brackets you fill out.
TOUGH GUY
(3/7/23) A Tale of Two Cities was a great book, so congratulations if you managed to read it. I was forced to read it in high school but never really appreciate how good it was until many decades later. Its pretty much about people living different lives and what you make of it. Lately we have been reading curious tales of one Ja Morant. Here is the turning point in our story.
Friday, March 3rd. Denver 113, Memphis 97. It was the last game Morant played but what happened after the game is a tale of two cities and two superstar. When Jokic got home that night, at 10pm, he took a nice warm bath, put on his night cap and pajamas, fix himself up a nice cup of chamomile tea, read a few pages of Chicken Soup for the Soul and called it a night as he slowly closes his eyes and dream of double doubles and triple doubles. Meanwhile, Morant wasn’t going to let the night go to waste. The night was still young. He is faced with the tough decision on which strip club was going to be blessed with his presence. He gather all his freeloader friends aka posse aka entourage etc and was prepared for a night of good times with great people. Let the champagne flow and strippers strip. The life of a rich young athlete after losing by 16 points mere hours ago. This stuff happens all the time but going on Instagram Live was plain dumb on his part. If you are going to be dumb might as well go all in preflop and call with your 2-7 off suit. Semi naked, throwing up gang signs and flashing a gun was just a brilliant move to let the world know how hard core and gangster you are. If Morant would have just gone to bed early, wake up the next day and invite his teammates for brunch, things would turn out differently for the time being.
Instead, the Grizzlies has had enough of his shenanigans and has suspended him indefinitely.
We get that Morant is talented on the basketball court but off the court this guy has the brain of an amoeba. He also won’t be nominated for any Pulitzer award for critical thinking or a go to guy for life advices. The video was not the first time that Morant got in trouble. There was the time him and his buddies decided to Predator laser target Pacers players. To put a teenager in his place, Morant allegedly punched him 12-13 times in the head because Morant felt he was disrespected during a pick up game. 12 times really?? Who knows what else goes on behind the scene with this guy. He didn’t grow up in the hood so maybe he was trying to make up for lost experience. This is a troubling pattern for someone who has so much at stake. We should all see this coming from a mile away when he said he could take out Jordan one on one. He also said he wants to be a billionaire by the time he is 30. Good luck with that. No company is going to touch Morant, knowing that at any moment he is going to embarrass them.
Rehabbing Morant starts with him realizing that acting like a wannabe tough guy and hard core gangster is plain dumb. He has no need to do this with all the money he has. There are other ways of getting attention like adopting kittens and puppies but of course that will paint him as a softie. Hopefully Morant does not end up like one Aaron Hernandez.
LITTLE MAC STRIKES AGAIN
(2/25/23) For decades, Woody Harrelson had everyone believing that White men can’t jump and dunking was only happening if you were 7ft. Brent Barry came along in 1996 and gave hope to white people by winning the slam dunk contest at the height of 6’7. People thought that was it. A white player will never win the dunk contest ever again. Fast forward 17 years later….NBA All Star 2023..on the court stepped a short white guy at 6’2 by the name of Mac McClung. This guy is no secret on Youtube with his dunking ability and the NBA gave him a chance on the big stage. McClung proceeded to kick ass and not missed one single dunk attempt. None of this clown show of missing dunks after dunks aka Jalen Green.
Where are the so called superstars of the NBA when McClung won the contest? No congratulations from Lebron on twitter? Nothing from Durant? Where is Ja Morant? Doesn’t he appreciate a good dunk?? If the winner was either Trey Murphy, Kenyon Martin Jr or Jericho Sims, you would see guys like Lebron immediately goes on twitter and tell us how special these guys are. McClung winning the dunk contest pretty much exposed how fraudulent and hypocrite the NBA is. You constantly hear how the NBA wants to fight for diversity but when a white guy wins the slam dunk contest everyone is quiet. You know Murphy, Martin Jr. and Sims are getting ridiculed constantly behind the scene for letting McClung win the dunk contest. You have to give credit where credit is due and this goes out to Steph Curry. Curry actually congratulated McClung. It does not take a lot of effort to type the word “congrats” yet most of the top players in the NBA won’t even do. They say the NBA is a fraternity and that is correct because its just a fraternity for African Americans players. McClung winning the contest proves this point. McClung deserves more recognition from the NBA community and he is not going to get it. However, outside the NBA, he has already made an impact.
Next year’s dunk contest will be an interesting one if McClung comes back to defend his title. Maybe the NBA should have a dunk contest with all white players. That would probably created a twitter explosion about what a racist event that would be but didn’t past dunk contests have all black players??? Wasn’t that racist too?
They say McClung brought back the dunk contest and indeed he has. McClung may not have a long career in the NBA but he will have one thing that the Great Lebron “Dunk Dodger” will never has……a dunk title.
Time
(10/25/22) Time is precious and we never want to waste it away. We must learn to seize every moment because there is only a finite amount of time for everyone of us and once its past it can never be retrieved. We are only left with regrets. The Great Lebron James has shown humanity that he is one that does not waste time.
Not 2, not 3, not 4 games into the NBA season but ONE game into the Lakers 2022 season, the great king stood on the balcony of his castle and utter these precious words to the masses of peasants below.
Lebron James (real quote):
“I mean, I don’t know. I think we’re getting great looks and I think there also could be teams giving us great looks. I mean, to be completely honest, were’ not a team that’s constructed of great shooting and that’s just what the truth of the matter is. It’s not like we’re sitting here with a lot of lasers on our team….”
This is also may or may not have happened after the first game where the Lakers lost by 14 to the Warriors..
James: good try guys, I got a surprise for you guys…meet me in the parking lot. Especially you Russ.
Lakers players: Really? So excited can’t wait to find out!! We love surprises!!!
Russell Westbrook: hmm……
****Lakers players quickly runs out to the parking lot at the Crypto.com arena (side note) DON’T BUY CRYPTO!!****
James: I want everyone to lie on the ground next to each other.
Lakers players: man, we love these trust exercises just like the one where you fall backwards and someone catches you.
***Lakers players then lies on the ground side by side like a can of sardines***
5 minutes later…..Lakers players screaming…
What happens next is too graphic but we can summarizes it for you. Lebron got on his yellow bus, put on his seatbelt (safety first),started the engine and just drove over all the Lakers players. Lebron James not only threw his whole team under the bus but ran over his whole team AFTER 1 GAME!! There was also speculation that a certain Laker player with the initial RW was ran over multiple times.
Can you believe this guy?? Once again Lebron James has shown that he is a complete fraud while the media think he is special and that his teammates love him. When the team wins its Lebron elevating his team and making everyone around him better but when the team loses people make excuses for him because the roster is not good enough. We all know that Lebron is in charge of every move the Lakers make. He was the one that wanted Westbrook and Davis. You have to be able to shoot from the outside to win in the NBA. Lebron, Westbrook and Davis are all incompetent outside shooters. Lebron created this mess playing GM and its nice to see the Lakers in shambles…at least the Dodgers is going to the World Series….wait…nevermind..
CAN’T PHONE HOME
(9/27/22) Just get off our screen!! Halloween is around the corner and I am already having nightmares. I was hoping to not see Lebron’s face until the NBA season starts but it was wishful thinking. If I have to see this new AT&T commercial anymore I might have to start reading books instead of watching TV. That may be going to extreme so changing the channel when it comes on is what I have to live with. Let’s break down this commercial for the people…
Same old Lebron
Lebron at his best right off the bat. Pushing the pamphlet back and fourth with Lily. This is Lebron’s greatest attribute, pushing the blame game on other people just like his time in the NBA. The team sucks, its the coaches fault. The team is great, its all because of him. Getting Anthony Davis and Russell Westbrook was a move Lebron made……team sucks….Frank Vogel becomes ex coach of the Lakers. Its never Lebron’s fault.
Pushing the pamphlet back and fourth…. not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4 but five times. So now he is bringing his talents to AT&T???
“My work here is done”
What the hell is Lebron talking about when he says his work here is done??? He seriously think because of him everyone is getting this great deal with AT&T? He didn’t get anything done. AT&T has been offering this deal before he even showed up for this commercial. The ego with this guy is just incredible.
Clicking the Pen
What is the purpose of this? Should have just given this guy a crayon so he can just sit and draw cartoons in the corner of the store. Remember Lebron did not go to college so this pen clicking routine is a smoke screen trying to hide the fact that he was only a high school graduate. His GPA in high school was 2.8..that is close to a “C”. Not exactly on the level of Stephen Hawking.
“Are you coming for my job”
Lilly should start updating her resume. It was a good run at AT&T just like Lebron’s career. It’s over. Lebron is indeed coming for her job. The same Lebron trying to get everyone fired. As he is standing there looking, he is thinking about how he is going to get his NBA buddies into future AT&T commercials. Get ready to see JR Smith and Tristan Thompson on your TV screen soon enough.
Dress for the occasion
Why does he need to wear a suit to buy a phone?? Once again he wants to remind us of how special he is. No one in America wakes up in the morning and said “Today is a special day, I am going to put on my best suit and…..go buy a phone”..NOBODY WEARS A SUIT TO BUY A PHONE!
We all know Lebron is a billionaire but he simply cannot help himself and constantly wants the attention. You don’t see other billionaires around the world doing commercials. Its a waste of time unless you crave the attention. The truth is Lebron is not exactly well liked by many on and off the field. He will always be known as a talented basketball and nothing else no matter how hard he tries to impress everyone. So please Lebron no more commercial.
Jar Jar Morant
(7/13/22) 20 years ago, when Star Wars: Episode I: Phantom Menace was release everyone got excited because it has been 16 years since Return of the Jedi. The movie ended up being ok but a lot of attention was given to one character who many felt was just thrown in for comedic relief. He walked funny and often times we have no idea what he was talking about or understand the words coming out of his mouth. He was Jar Jar Binks.
2022, we have a similar character roaming the NBA landscape. He resides in Memphis and has been talking crazy. His given name is Temetrius Jamel Morant but goes by Ja Morant. With the way this guy talks we need to call him Jar Jar Morant.
You see Jar Jar Morant has a problem and that is whenever he talks it doesn’t seem like it gets processed in the brain first. Crazy words just comes out and he doesn’t realize how delusional he is. They say you can’t teach stupid but apparently that Murray State education didn’t smarten this guy up. The nail on the coffin of stupidity came a few days ago when he said he can “cooked Michael Jordan one-on-one”. We are assuming he is not talking about going to the supermarket, gathering up ingredients, marinating the steak tips and then inviting Jordan over for a candlelight dinner. Morant is talking about giving Jordan a beat down on the basket court if they were to play one on one. Maybe Morant was talking about playing Jordan one on one on checkers. I doubt they play Chess because Morant is not capable of critical thinking and would be confused by the different pieces. We need to really question this guy’s intellect and wish we can ask him does he know how to change a light bulb. Does he seriously think he can beat Jordan one on one with his skinny frame (Morant 178lbs compare to Jordan 215lbs) and height (Morant 6’3 compare to Jordan 6’6).
Dr. Strange is an expert in seeing possibilities and correctly predicted to his friends that there was only 1 way to win. We asked Dr. Strange does he see any possibilities that Morant can possibly beat Jordan and Dr. Strange was just LHFAO and after seeing trillions of possibility he said none exist.
One statement of stupidity was not enough so Morant goes for legendary status. He refer to himself in the third person as “number 12”. Now he wants to be known as a number. This guy is losing it and manages to insult Tom Brady who is the real number “12”. We have to give him credit on doubling down on his stupidity and insulting two birds or in this case two GOATS with one stone.
The lesson to be learned here is when you first come into the league and has not won anything..you don’t open your big fat mouth and talk non-sense and make the world think you are a moron. The Memphis Grizzlies’ organization has to be somewhat worried that they gave this guy close to $200 million and is bracing themselves for more stupidity coming out of his mouth over the next few years.
NBA FREE AGENCY SPECIAL REPORT
(7/6/22) Happy belated July 4th everyone!! July 4th is such a great American holiday. Where else can you see free fireworks. Where else can you enjoy great companies in your backyard downing steaks, hot dogs and burgers with your favorite alcoholic beverage. Where else can you see a grown human being just shovel hot dogs down his throat and become a legend? No where but the United States of America. Also in America we have this thing we call NBA free agency period. It doesn’t apply to regular folks like you and me. It applies to people who are tall, could dribble a basketball and the ability to shoot a free throw or a jumper are not required (talking about you Ben Simmons). Its an annual money grab perpetuated by the generous General Managers in the league. Welcome to NBA free agency!!!
NBA free agency is a great opportunity for General Mangers across the league to show how stupid and clueless they are. Giant contracts are handed out like candies on Halloween and players are laughing all the way to the bank. This is not exactly a bad thing for the economy because these players with new found money will most likely dispose of the money recklessly because its their nature to do so. Strip clubs across America can rejoice because future forecasts calls for more rain in the form of cash. High end automobile dealership will have to hire more salespeople because these players will be visiting looking for the next 3 miles per gallon sports car. Who really cares about the high gas prices??? Players will also be taken applications to join their entourage so you can become a professional free loader. All you have to do is become a “yes” man and master the art of brown nosing. There are some of you out there are saying this writer is just jealous and bitter because I wish I can make that kind of money too. To those people all I can say is…damn right I am!! I hate driving around for hours looking for another gas station that is 5 cents cheaper. I hate looking for the cheapest item on the menu when I go out and eat. But this is not about me its about them so let’s move on.
Let’s look at some of these ridiculous contracts that makes America such a great country for some.
Zion Williamson, 5 years/$193 million ($38million/year)
GRADE:F-
Someone in New Orleans reported a robbery and this was it. Pelicans are suppose to be smart birds unfortunately the GM of the Pelicans wishes he was half as smart as a real pelican. This has to be the dumbest extension for a guy who is constantly battling weight issues and injuries. 85 games played in 3 years? The Pelicans should spend some money to build a weight loss clinic next to the arena and make this guy visit it as part of the contract. However, the sales of burgers, fries and soft drinks in NBA cities will see a sharp increase whenever Zion visits.
Jalen Brunson, 4 years/$104 million ($26million/year)
GRADE:C
New Yorkers have been suckering tourists into buying fake watches and perfumes over the years and now the Knicks got suckered into Jalen Brunson’s 1 good year. Never overspend or build your team around someone that is barely 6 feet…even Batman won’t be able to save the Knicks.
John Wall, 2 years/$13.2 million ($6.6million/year)
GRADE:G- (worser than an F)
John Wall reminds me of Humpty Dumpty. Humpty basically just sat on the wall and did nothing and the only time he moved he fell and got hurt. The Clippers gave this guy $6.6 million to pretty much sit on the bench because he is guaranteed to get hurt the moment he steps on the court. If the Clippers wanted to invest in a Wall, the money would have been more well spent on the border wall.
Anthony Gill, 2 years/$??? million ($??million/year)
GRADE:F-
Who?? Never heard of this guy but what the heck lets give him a few millions and make him a millionaire. Him and his whopping 4 points per game last year. No contract $ was disclosed but probably a veteran minimum which is around $2 million dollars. So he pretty much got $4 million over 2 years. We all want to be a nobody like this guy and make $2 million a year too.
Theo Pinson, 1 year/$?? million ($??million/year)
GRADE:F-
Who guy#2…never heard of this guy nor see him make 1 shot ever but the Mavericks for some reason have to make this guy a millionaire. The minimum salary in the NBA is close to $1 million. We are guessing his role on the team is to back up the lunch runner just in case he got sick.
Devin Booker, 4 years/$224 million extension ($49million/year)
GRADE:C
The Suns didn’t want to ruin the happiness of two young kids. This deal brought Booker back into the family.
Before the deal:
Kendall Jenner: I am breaking up with you!!
After the deal:
Kendall Jenner: Just kidding =)
Nikola Jokic, 5 years/$264 million ($52million/year)
GRADE:A
Let’s see…1 inch vertical, speed of a turtle, body equivalent of a typical male in their 50s. No way this guy makes it in the NBA right? WRONG!! Largest contract in NBA history and this guy totally deserves it. He does EVERYTHING. Just shows up, goes to work and put up a triple double every night. No drama and more importantly never seen this guy pound his chest after a shot. This guy is no joke but he is the “Joker”
Teams are throwing ridiculous amount of money at these guys as if they are just printing money in the back room. The problem is what about the other people in their organization such as the minimum wage guys that works the concession stands or the people that has to wipe down the seats after a game. They will probably see an extra nickel on their paychecks. Spend wisely fellas.
“STOLE”
(6/5/22) The NBA Finals is underway and Boston has already stole game 1 from the Warriors. However, there are different level of “stole”..Level 1 is pretty much when there is no one around and you just take a few dollars from the cash register. Level 10 of “stole” is on another whole level and it involves embarrassment because you can’t do anything about it even if you wanted to. For example, you are enjoying a nice movie on your 70″ flat screen TV, two thieves walks right through your front door, walks up to your TV, unplug it and just carries it out your front door without even acknowledging or give a damn that you are sitting on your recliner during the robbery. You are left with your mouth wide open and couldn’t believe what the heck happen. This is comparable to what the Celtics did to the Warriors in the 4th quarter. After the game, the San Francisco Police Department was on high alert because many of the Golden State fans were ready to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge or decides to lock themselves up nearby Alcatraz.
The media has been talking way before game 1 about the “Experience” factor and that the Warriors are simply unbeatable at home. The Celtics has zero Finals game experience while the Warriors had like 125 Finals game experience.
Here is the problem. The Warriors is somewhat overrated. All they have is Steph Curry and a bunch of OK players surrounding him. Klay Thompson will never be the same player after the injury yet the media keeps making him into a great player. All he does is comes off screens and takes a jumper. That is pretty much his whole game. The guy can’t drive to the rim or guard faster players. Draymond Green aka “the enforcer” for the team has zero offensive skills, he does have a big mouth and loves to find creative ways to foul you. When it comes to fouling his prefer region is the groin area of other players. Jordan Poole, there is something quirky and obnoxious about this guy. He pretty much peed in the pool in the first game. Best to let him wade water at the kiddie pool. Andrew Wiggins was the overall #1 pick in the 2014 Draft who failed to become a superstar and is having a cute year with the Warriors. The rest of the supporting cast for the Warriors are mediocre players at best and they all can’t create their own shots.
This is the worst matchup for the Warriors. The Celtics are young and they can lock you down on defense. During game 1, every time they showed Curry, the guy is like out of breath. This is because he is constantly running around trying to get the open shot. Late in the game, fatigue sets in and he is not as effective. The Celtics are also a dynamic team with shot blockers and they have plenty of guys that can hit the 3s. Al Hortford is becoming a legend in Boston just like Al Bundy at Polk High.
Years ago, many felt that the Patriots lead by a young Thomas Brady had no shot to beat the Rams. They were wrong. History looks like it is repeating itself.
ELIMINATED
(3/29/22) Many things have happened in the last week and like Will Smith we need to apologize to our loyal fans. We told everyone to take Gonzaga to win the tournament and we got burned. Let’s not dance around the tulips and tell it like it is….The fix was on for Gonzaga to lose that game. Basketball is a game that can easily be fixed by the refs by taking out a team’s best player by simply putting him in foul trouble. In the case of Gonzaga, Chet Holmgren needed to be taken out for Arkansas to win. Holmgren played just 23 minutes in the game and he had 14 rebounds and 11 points. In a big game like this, the stars of your team is going to be on average playing 35+ minutes easy. The refs took Holmgren off the court for more than 10 minutes of game time and fouled him out with a little more than 3 minutes to go in the game with Gonzaga down by only 6 points. Without Holmgren, Arkansas’s confidence was sky high. If they could the Arkansas players would have gone over and hug the ref and said “thank you! thank you!” It should also be noted that Holmgren was getting hot in the second half. It doesn’t matter how hot you are if you are on the bench. The last foul on Holmgren was very questionable to everyone that was watching the game. Doug Shows was the ref that made the call and he was easily 15 feet away from the play and was looking at the back of Holmgren. The other ref who had a much better view did not blow his whistle. We all have heard that when it comes to a big game, you want to let the players decide the outcome but this guy Doug Shows wants his imprint on this game. He wants to play God and decides who wins. I would love to see Doug Shows hook up to a polygraph and ask him did he have a financial interests on Arkansas and did he fix the game. People say you can beat the Polygraph but so what? If you are dirty and good enough to beat it then so be it. At least they are put through the test instead of hoping these guys are clean.
Gonzaga losing was important to a few parties. First, Vegas was rooting from day one for Gonzaga to lose because a lot of money was on Gonzaga. Second, the NCAA loves drama. Thanks for playing Saint Peters..it was a cute story and you have grown men mentioning the word Peacocks way too much. Gonzaga would have stood in the way of Duke winning the tournament and with Gonzaga gone Duke has an easy road to the finals. The NCAA LOVES Coach K and want him to go out with the perfect ending. They want Duke to win and will make sure it happens. The refs are already briefed in a dark room with a single light bulb hanging and “knows” what to do. North Carolina will now have to beat two teams simultaneously to get to the Finals. Duke and the refs.
If you still have money left to invest. Put it all on Duke because the NCAA has made a deal with the devil so to speak.
UPDATE!! 4/2/22. DUKE WAS ELIMINATED..WE APOLOGIZED FOR EVERYONE’S FINANCIAL LOSS. WE PROMISED TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME.
MARCH MADNESS PRIMER
(3/14/22) March Madness 2022 is upon us and we have put together a bible that will get you prepared for the madness that is to come.
Getting rid of distractions
To fully immerse yourself in the tournament you have to get rid of distractions in your life. For those that have a girlfriend of wife, hand over your credit card and tell them to go on a shopping spree for 3 weeks. Yes, your credit call will probably max out but don’t worry working 3 jobs at the same time for the next year will help bring that balance down in no time.
Brackets
Millions of brackets will be filled out…zero will have all teams correct. If God was filling out a bracket he will be the only one that gets all teams correct.
Who is going to win?
Our picks are either Gonzaga or Arizona will take it all. For those that care more than for entertainment purposes only, we told you to take +850 on Gonzaga a few months ago. Those that listened are sitting pretty at the moment because Gonzaga is now at +300 to win it all. The reason is simple. These two teams are athletic, deep and have a killer instinct.
Bigger News
We are not sure what will be the bigger news. If Gonzaga loses in the first round or Russia and Ukraine decides to stop the other madness overseas and just call it a little misunderstanding.
Don’t listen to the experts
These guys doesn’t really have a clue. They just talk as if they know something. There brackets are a messed just like everyone else after the first round. Remember these “experts” said North Carolina has no chance in hell of beating Duke at home on Coach K’s final home game? Duke players will never let it happen. What happened? Duke lost by 13 points.
Playing favorites
If you are like 90% of the country and just select favorites on your bracket, you will lose…GUARANTEED. ‘
They are just kids
Nothing is certain with these games because they are played by literally kids and those that can’t play basketball. Leading by 15 points with 10 minutes left? I wouldn’t celebrate just yet. A majority of these kids are on the team because they have the one characteristic that separates them from other human beings …they are just tall. Many cannot hit a free throw for a cup of noodles.
I am proud of these kids
1000…The over/under on the the number of times a coach will say “I am proud of these kids”. Take the over.
Not just a game
Millions of dollars will be at stake and millions of brackets will be in the balance as some kid will be at the free throw line with 3 seconds left and his heart is jumping out of this throat. Those that don’t understand will say its a game. Happiness, anger, sorrow and F bombs all rides on the flick of his wrist.
Good news..bad news
Good news….Georgia State makes it in as the #16 seed
Bad news…Georgia State will try to not lose by 40 points
Bathroom breaks
People working in the office will increase their bathroom trips by 1000x and increase the time spent in the bathroom by an average of 10 more minutes than usual…just to check scores and follow the last minute of the game.
things that will happen
In the closing seconds of a game…someone will dribble a ball off his own leg and because of it will lose the game. TV camera will pan to him crying after the game.
things that will happen also
In the closing seconds of a game..someone will throw up a prayer and it will go in…teammates will storm the court….BUT there is still .5 seconds left on the game clock. Other team gets the ball and they too throw up a prayer and it will be answered and they win the game.
Unfortunate bad timing
Somewhere in the US…with a close game coming down to the last possession..some poor guy will have a power outage all of a sudden and he will go berzerk not knowing did his team lose. You say he could check his phone?? Sorry, dude forgot to pay his phone bill for months.
Financial advice
If you are looking to put a little investment down on a game. Its is wise to take the under on the first half on any game with a first half total of 68 and more. Teams are excited and often the defense rather than the offense will show up first.
AAA (we don’t mean roadside service)
Switching between games for 10 hours straight will drain the batteries on the tv remote. Don’t be caught with a dead remote. Stock up on batteries.
Annoying
Games will be stopped constantly inside the final minute as the referees will stop and review every single ball that goes out of bound. The refs will look at the replay monitor for 15 minutes and then huddle together for another 15 minutes and then go back to the replay monitor for another 15 minutes…the whole process takes them 45 minutes…while viewers everywhere can tell who it went out of bound off within 10 seconds.
As we head toward the opening rounds of the tournament, we leave you with this…at the end of Rounders after Matt Damon calls Teddy KGB’s all-in with his flopped straight and sending him to the felt with frustration, he ask KGB if he felt “unsatisfied” and that he could go on busting him all night…well, if you felt “unsatisfied” with how things turned out and your bracket totally busted…don’t worry there is always next year’s tournament.
ADMIT ONE
(3/01/22) Museums are great places. As a kid, I remember going to the Children’s museum and Science museum in Boston and boy did I have a lot of fun. I remember seeing a giant Tyrannosaurus rex aka T.Rex. for the first time and it was awesome. I always wonder how fast did all the caveman back then had to run to avoid getting eaten.
Lebron James is going to have his own museum in Akron and nobody outside of Akron is going to really care about this ego maniac. There is rumor that at the entrance will be a statue of Lebron on a throne and all visitors have to kneel or bow before him and then pay $50 to get in with parking at a rate of $20 an hour.
Here are some exhibits at the Lebron museum:
What Foul?
An NBA referee will be brought in daily and visitors will put on a Lebron jersey and then the referee will whistle you for a foul. Visitors will then get to raise arms and their palms up in the air and act incredulous and start complaining that it wasn’t a foul.
Imagination Center
Here fans get to see all the hypothetical and imaginary rings Lebron would have won. Not 1, Not 2, Not 3, Not, Not 5 but 20 rings all line up. Visitors would also get a chance to sit on a chair beside Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade while hearing Lebron tells the City of Miami how many rings he was going to win.
The Bus
This exhibit basically have a big yellow bus in the middle of the room. This actually have nothing to do with his school in Akron. Visitors are encouraged to lie under the wheel of the bus. This is so visitors can get a feel of what is it like when Lebron throws his teammates under the bus throughout the years.
Goat petting area
There will be an area just like a petting zoo for the kids except it will have a bunch of goats running around. This is as close as Lebron gets to becoming the GOAT.
Michael Jordan tribute
There is a giant 6’6″ feet inflatable bop punching bag that 100% resembling Michael Jordan. Visitors are told by Lebron to punch this bag repeatedly.
Stroke his ego
This exhibit gives visitors a chance to be like the media and bend over backwards to tell Lebron how great he is and that he is such an amazing person. Visitors are not allowed to leave the museum unless they say 10 great things about him.
Is anyone really surprised that Lebron is having his own museum. The ego on this guy is absolutely ridiculous. Lebron will find out quickly that outside of Akron NOBODY really cares about this prima donna. Lebron is all about himself and what he does tons of athletes do too.. Almost every athlete has their own charity and does some stuff for their community. What’s next? Lebron’s Discount Furniture and Mattress of Akron?
DUNK CONTEST
(2/20/22) Who doesn’t love the weekend right? For most of us its a time for relaxation from the hectic of the work week. Sitting by the window and eating your donut and having your morning coffee and then an interesting thought float into your head. What if I dunk my donut into my coffee?? For those who wonder what does a donut drenched with coffee taste like…let’s just say its one of life’s great discovery. This transition us to another dunking. The NBA dunk contest is once again upon us. The dunk contest use to exciting with real dunkers but now it has become a dumpster fire and we get our annual someone hold up a ball over their head and a player jumps over his head, grabs it and dunks it. **YAWN* BORING!!
This year the NBA managed to wrangled up four nobodies for the dunk contest. 99% of non basketball fans do not know who on earth is Cole Anthony, Jaleen Green, Juan Toscano-Anderson nor Obi Toppin. Star Wars fans did get a little excited when they heard someone name Obi was in the dunk contest but unfortunately it wasn’t the droid or man they were thinking of.
At the writing of this article, Jalen Green is still attempting to complete his first dunk. He is on try number 226. The crowd has left, there is no one left in the building, the lights are off (doesn’t matter if they are on it wouldn’t make a difference) but he ain’t giving up. We give him credit for trying and trying but on second thought let’s not because this guy had a whole month to practice and it looks like he spent exactly 1 minute practicing. The other funny part was during the night Green was seen trying to give the other dunkers expert advice on their dunks. This coming from a guy who wasted 10 minutes of everybody’s time trying to convert his first dunk so if you took an extended leave to the bathroom and came back this guy was still fumbling and bumbling with the basketball.
Another dunker who goes by Cole Anthony tried to be innovative by dunking with Timberland boots on. Boring…..It would have been more entertaining if he had dunked with big red size-25 clown shoes on.
The judges are the real lucky ones who has the front row seat to this comedic spectacle. Dominique Wilkins, Dr. J and Clyde Drexler are all rolling their eyes and trying not to laugh.
Next year its going to be the same old dance and song and another cast of nobodies. The NBA need to move on with the Dunk Contest and rebrand it to the Dunk Tank. The dunk tank is one of man kind’s greatest invention because everyone loves it and no instructions are needed. You cannot have a carnival or fair without a dunk tank. The NBA should have every player at the All Star game sit on that seat and every fan gets a chance to dunk them. It would be great memories if you can go home and say you dunk Lebron James into the water with just one throw.
NO BURGERS FOR YOU
(12/4/21) Its the happiest time of the year. Christmas is a time of great joy and everyone is in a happy mood. Its also the time of the year when you say forget that diet and let loose and consume everything that is edible but please leave humans off the menu. This holiday season there is one person that has already have plenty of experience stuffing his face.
He was suppose to be a “special player”. He was the number one overall pick in the NBA draft and thus far in his career it looks like he spends more time with a spoon and fork in his hands then with a basketball. He is none other than the great Zion Williamson. Weighing in at over 300 pounds and counting as of today and he is only 21 years old. I think it is safe to say he has grown into his frame and much more. More of him to love you say? Not in the NBA when you are expected to be in shape and not the shape of a blimp.
The NBA wants to see this guy on the court and get some ratings but this guy is constantly on the injured list and a majority of this injures are lower body injuries with knee and foot problems. If you google the latest video of him working out on the court, the guy could barely move. If you listen closely… you can hear his knees screaming “no mas! no mas!” ..It doesn’t take a genius to realize that his weight is the main problem. 300 lbs running, jumping, changing direction constantly, there is no way the body does not break down. Williamson’s biggest problem is not the double team that he faces on the court but rather a double cheeseburger that is staring him in the face. He has a food problem and can’t stop eating. To put it mildly he is fat and out of shape. If someone wants to look for Williamson inside the clubhouse chances are he is near the fridge. To be fair, there is a positive out of this, he is supporting local restaurants and establishments by keeping them in business with just his mouth.
It is also the Pelicans’ fault that he is 300+ lbs. The team is paying him $10 million this year to do absolutely nothing. They should tell him to go on the treadmill for 5 hours a day or else fine him for being out of shape. They should also password protect the clubhouse fridge. If not, by the time we ring in the New Year Williamson is going to be at 350 pounds. At that point he can kiss his NBA career goodbye and maybe put on some pads for the New Orlean Saints and pass block.
So at this year’s Pelicans Christmas dinner do not pass any food to Zion because what’s coming back will most likely be an empty plate.
BACK TO SCHOOL
(10/27/21) Every day matters and we must cherish every moment because things are always changing and we can never get back time that was lost. The same can be said for placing a wager on a future bet. You want to get in now!! You do not want to be the one late to the party hungry and realizes that all the foods are gone and you are left over with cheese and crackers.
Once again, here at Playbook we are going to help send not just your kids but you back to college. Father and son in the same fraternity sound like a great plan and allow for great bonding. Just don’t tell the wife. If college is not your thing then we are going to help you increase your disposable income so you can dispose of it on whatever make you happy. So get ready to make your money work for you. Scrape together whatever cash you can get your hands on and borrow money if you have to. Be smart, do not steal money because its pretty hard to head over to the big box store and buy a 70inch TV if you are stuck behind metal bars.
Without further ado and for **roll eyes** entertainment purposes only!
GO NOW AND PUT YOUR MONEY ON GONZAGA TO WIN THE NCAA TOURNAMENT AT +650!!!!
This number will go down with each passing days. I can give you all the analysis on why they will easily take down the tournament but it just comes down to 1 player. Number 34, Chet Holmgren who stands at 7 feet and close to 200 lbs. He is the difference maker and easily pushes Gonzaga over the top. Most 7 footer in college basketball are clumsy, can’t shoot and pretty much useless and is on the team because they are tall. Holmgren on the other hand can play. His presence in the paint will affect all layups and he will gobble up most rebounds because he is not a stiff. Did I mention he can also shoot the 3?
Time waits for no one and neither does the betting odds. So stop what you are doing and make an investment in the future.
Mental Health
(8/1/21) It all started with the “Get out of Jail” card which let you get out of prison so you can continue to pass go, buy properties and collect rent. Next was the “Race” card which we all know what that is about. Now, 2021…we have the ultimate card anyone can carry regardless if you are black, white, yellow, or green like my pool water this summer. Some call this the “God” card because it is so powerful it works in all facet of life and not just in sports. We are talking about the nice and shiny Mental Health card.
Simone Biles is the first to flash the Mental Health card but don’t worry anyone can flash this card now.
Flashing the Mental Health Card in basketball
Ben: I can’t shoot anymore free throws, please stop making me practice free throws!!
***Ben whips out his mental health card***
Coach:”its ok Ben, We don’t want to stress you out mentally. its ok, you can continue to shoot 25% from the free throw line and we will still pay you $25 million a year. Let’s just practice dribbling.
Flashing the Mental Health Card at work
Joe: “Hey Boss, I am not coming in to work today. I am going to the beach. I need another mental health day.”
***Joe whips out his mental health card***
Joe’s Boss: “Again?? You gotta be kidding me. You have taken the last 18 days off for mental health day!!”
Joe:”well,, mentally I don’t feel like coming to work”
Joe’s Boss: “You’re FIRED!!!”
Joe is now traumatized
Joe goes and find an ambulance chaser aka an attorney to sue the company.
Joe wins case, gets awarded $50 million dollar and now he spends everyday happy and mentally he is in a good place.
Mental health is a serious issue but should not be a discussion when it comes to professional sports because this is what they sign up for. There are going to be plenty of mental stress and pressure because professional sports is about winning and making money. It comes with the territory if you want to get paid millions. Any player can simply come out now and say they are battling mental health issues and all is forgiven. If you suck and has an era of 6.75, just come out and say you have been dealing with mental health issues all season and all is forgiven. No one is going to bring up the issue that you simply suck at your job but instead will praise you for being so brave and coming out and disclosing your mental health battles.
MONTY PYTHON
(7/21/21) It was Christmas Eve. It was snowing outside, Christmas songs playing, food everywhere and all the invited guests were having a great time. Suddenly, the door bell rung around 11pm…was it the cops because our Christmas music was too loud? Nope, when I opened the door, standing 5ft tall in front of my door was Steve. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Why is he here? You see, the problem was that I did not invite Steve. Pretty much everyone of my friends hated Steve. The guy apparently heard about the party and decided to invite himself! The party pretty much went downhill from that point on. Thank you Steve for ruining my great Christmas party you POS. Is there a point to this story??
Yes! The point of the story is that do not invite yourself when you are not on the guest list. Monty Williams, head coach of the Phoenix Suns is Steve.
The Milwaukee Bucks have just won the NBA title and was celebrating in their locker room when out of the blue Monty Williams come knocking and made this speech.
Monty Williams: “I just wanted to come and congratulate you guys as a man and coach. You guys deserved it. I’m thankful for the experience. You guys made me a better coach. You made us a better team. Congratulations.”
Steve meet Monty Williams. Monty Williams meet Steve. What is Monty Williams doing???? He goes into the Bucks locker room and gives a corny speech while the Bucks players were popping champagne and celebrating? I thought I was watching an episode of Monty Python! He should not be there period. He was not invited just like my friend Steve. People online is calling Monty Williams a class act for doing this?? Are people serious? Monty Williams is a celebration crasher. He is on the same level as a wedding crasher. He basically made the whole thing about himself.
The following are rumored celebratory events that Monty Williams has crashed:
- Chiefs locker room after Superbowl 5
- Buccaneers locker room after Superbowl 55
- Tampa Bay Lightening lock room after Stanley Cup
- Some girls Bachelorette party
- A 10-year old Birthday Party
- Aaron Rodgers and Shaeline Woodley’s vacation
- Showing up on a date between Devin Booker and Kendal Jenner
Monty Williams is already making plans for the upcoming Bucks parade. He is already searching for the best prices for hotels and plane tickets to Milwaukee. He plans to give a speech to the fans of Milwaukee. For some reason, he is also seeking permission from the Bucks to hoist the NBA’s Larry O’Brien trophy during the parade.
So everyone please be on the look out for Monty Williams if you have a big event happening. He will show up out of the blue and gives a speech that you made him a better coach and better human being. On my next Christmas party, I would not be one bit surprise if Monty Williams suddenly show up at my front door with Steve.
BREAKING NEWS
(7/16/21) UPDATE!! – We have shocking news to report that Kevin Love has decided to withdraw from Team USA and will not be playing in the Tokyo Olympics. Many of the players wanted Love to remain on the team to serve as the team’s “designated driver” when players are out drinking and partying but he kindly decline.
REACTION CORNER:
When news broke that Love has withdrawn from the team
TEAM USA: *cheering, clapping, chest bumping, high-fiving**
15 minutes later…
NBA ANNOUNCEMENT: We will be searching for another white player to replace Kevin Love
TEAM USA: “*groans**
The NBA is scrambling to find another white player to replace Kevin Love because they do not want an all Black team. Below are some of the players the NBA are considering..
- Mason Plumlee
- Doug McDermott
- Alex Caruso
The NBA open their own can of worms on this when they decided to have one lone white guy on the team. Now it will be interesting to see who they pick to replace Kevin Love. Do they still try to “diversify” the team or do they just have an all Black team?
KEVIN
(6/26/21) In a distant future on a flight to Tokyo for the USA Olympic Basketball team…Something was off and didn’t feel right on the flight.
**Dramatization**
Damian Lilliard: something is not right here…
Bradley Beal: no peanuts??
Draymond Green: the pillows are not soft?
Damian Lilliard: no, something else…feel like we are missing something..or someone….
Khris Middleton: dude, it’s been a long flight, your just tired Dame.
Kevin Durant: Oh snap! Anyone seen Love? We forgot Kevin!!!!
Jayson Tatum: Holy Sh#@!! We left Kevin at the hotel back in the United States!!
Just like 31 years ago, when Kevin McCallister was left behind by his family on a vacation to Paris and was stuck home alone. Kevin Love hopefully does not have to go through the same thing of being left behind. It should not happen because he is the lone white guy on the 2021 Olympic team. He is going to stick out like a sore thumb. It is not too late for Kevin Love to find an excuse and back out of the team. It is not going to be a fun trip for him. He is going to end up spending a lot of time by himself. The NBA should at least throw in a couple of white players on the team so at least they can hang out together. The NBA did not do that.
THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN…
All players minus Kevin Love: partying at the clubs…
Kevin Love: alone in his hotel room, working on a 100,000 piece jigsaw puzzle without the picture.
All players minus Kevin Love: eating Kobe beef (do not insert Kobe Bryant joke here)at fancy restaurant.
Kevin Love: alone in his hotel room, eating Mac and Cheese
THIS WILL ALSO HAPPEN…
Kevin Love: hey guys let’s go karaoke!!
Rest of the players: **groans**
Kevin Love: hey guys let’s go sightseeing and take some cool pictures!!
Rest of the players: **groans**
Kevin Love: hey guys let’s go check out some banzai trees, they are so beautiful!!
Rest of the players: **groans** are you serious? who invited this dude. Should have left him back in the States.
You never want to the be the guy that sticks out in a group. Its never a good thing. Everyone is wearing black at the funeral and you show up in an all-white suit. There is going to be countless jokes about Kevin Love. Everywhere he goes with the team, he is going to get looks. There is not going to be a lot of Love with his teammates on this trip. It’s cool to be known as the “lone wolf” but not as the “lone white guy”.’
MAKE YOUR FREE THROWS
(6/17/21) There are millions of them in the US. They all have less than $10 to their name. They are all around 5ft tall. Who are they? They are the 15 year old kids across America. What is so special about them? They can all probably shoot a better free throw percentage at the free throw line than the great All-Star Ben Simmons.
Future Jeopardy question:
The Question- Ben Simmons and Richard Simmons share this in common.
The Answer-They both can’t shoot throw throws, except Richard Simmons wears better shorts.
Ben Simmons has a big problem. He is shooting free throws like Richard Simmons. Its brick after brick and the latest carnival craze game is Hack a Ben. He might as well just quit the NBA and become a bricklayer. I am sure he can build some beautiful brick walls with his experience. It’s unbelievable how he cannot shoot a free throw. Growing up playing basketball, don’t we all always practice our free throws? Doesn’t most coach say hit 7 out of 10 or else you ain’t leaving? Maybe Ben’s coach tells him to just hit 1 and he is done. Maybe the issue started a long time ago.
Little Benny Simmons has just did something bad…
Mom: “You are grounded young man!! No TV! No Supper! Don’t go to your room, go straight to the free throw line and show free throws until you realize what you did wrong!”
Little Ben: “No!!!!” Not the free throw line!!
Little Ben decides to not practice his free throws and so it begins…
Ben Simmons took 4 shots against the Atlanta Hawks in game 5 and was 4 for 14 at the free throw line. This man is terrified to shoot because he doesn’t want to get foul and go to the free throw line. At one point he did hit two free throws in a row. I was surprise that the 76ers didn’t stop the game, pat him on the back and award him a brand new car for such a great achievement. Stop calling this guy an All-Star. If layups and dunks were not allowed in the NBA, Bill Simmons would be completely useless offensively.
Let this be a lesson to all the kids who has aspirations of one day playing in the NBA. Eat your Wheaties and shoot plenty of free throws. Practice, practice, practice and practice some more. Allen Iverson former 76ers Great should have given Ben Simmons this advice.
Is it a coincidence that you can’t spell Simmons without spelling “miss” free throws??? hmmmm…
All this free throw talk is getting everyone all worked up. Its time to pop that VHS cassette into the old VCR and have a good workout with Richard Simmons.
King Jellyfish
(5/26/21) The Jellyfish family welcomes its newest member to the family and his name is Adam Silver. Adam Silver Fish is going to have a name change and its going to be Adam King Jellyfish. This guy has no backbone as well as no balls to speak off. Charles Barkley also subscribe to this theory.
Charles Barkley: “The NBA ain’t got the balls to f—ing suspend LeBron James. Zero…”
Thank you to the Great Charles Barkley for saying what everyone is thinking. Lebron James attended a tequila party right before the Lakers play in game against the Warriors. Looking at pictures from the party, everyone in attendance were not wearing masks or social distancing. Protocols were broken and James should have been suspended. Adam Silver however chose to do nothing because he didn’t want to anger God. God goes by the name Lebron. What happen to the safety and health of the players? Apparently, ratings are all that matters. Silver wanted the Lakers in the playoffs period. How can you actually respect him as commissioner after this? He should be grounded, sent to his room, take away his comics and force him to read “How to be a man” for dummies.
The Lakers also has no balls to suspend Lebron. Again, getting into the playoffs is all that matters. Who cares if Lebron brings Covid back from party and infect people in the Lakers organization. Who cares if that 70-years old janitor catches Covid and pass away? He is a nobody. He doesn’t help with ratings or help sell tickets. Everyone is disposable like a disinfecting wipes after being used. Maybe Adam Silver should be dispose of too. He can’t make the tough decision that is required of a commissioner. He should be demoted to swabbing players’ nose with a long Q-tip for Covid until he grow some balls and a spine. Maybe then he can have his job back.
When it comes to Lebron James there is a double standard. James constantly wants equality and justice but he doesn’t look at himself. He wants to be above everyone else and everyone must cater to him. He has the nerve to go to a party and put himself above the interests of the team. He is nothing but a hypocrite.
MARCH MADNESS
(3/15/21) As a kid I would circle all the major holidays on my calendar not because they were an important part of history but because it gave me a day off from school. Christmas and my birthday was not only circled but I also put a smiley face next to it. Those 2 days involved presents so it deserved the smiley face.
The United States should totally shut down for a few weeks in observance of March Madness and make it a major major holiday. We need to observe it not for 1 day, not for 2 days, not for 3 days but for a whole 3 weeks. That’s right a whole 3 weeks as in 21 days. Productivity in the work place is expected to drop 90% during March Madness. People are just there physically. Their minds are constantly thinking about their brackets. There are going to a spike in bathroom breaks and the “I’ll be right back, I gotta go check on something”.
THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN ACROSS AMERICA
Your Manager: “hey Jack, you been in the bathroom for over 50 minutes, are you ok?”
You:“Yea, i feel better now, I think I had some bad meat last night and is paying for it, It might last a few more weeks.”
Your Manager:“Sounds serious, hope your ok…strange..for some reason every time there is a close game you disappear to the bathroom…”
You: “don’t know what you are talking about…maybe just a coincidence”
Your Manager:“yea maybe…by the way, did Gonzaga pull off the victory?”
You:“They sure did!! My bracket is still alive!!”
Your Manager:” I heard the current Michigan game is a close one..”
You:“Really??? oh no, my stomache all of a sudden don’t feel good. I need to use the bathroom”
It’s ok that we become slackers during March Madness. It shows that we are patriotic and cares about our colleges and universities that make up this great country. We might not be able to name one single player or coach from the University of Grand Canyon but who cares. Who knew that somewhere in the Grand Canyon is a university and their mascot is a cantaloupe? Sorry, I stand corrected..their mascot is an antelope not the fruit cantaloupe. Again this is not important. What’s important is that they are on the bracket and a part of something great and might get smashed by 40 points amidst the madness.
Its called March Madness for a reason and we need 3 full weeks to get over this madness. Our mental health needs time to heal. This nation needs time to heal. You cannot spell the word “Brackets” without without the word “Care”.
LEND ME YOUR EARS
(3/8/21) Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!! Speech! Speech! Speech! We doesn’t love a good speech right? If I am going to hear the same old thing I rather listen to static on radio. 99% of the time its a total of waste of time because I can pretty much know what is going to be said. The moment I hear “I would like…” I immediately search for a new channel to watch.
College basketball is wrapping up its regular season and of course all the seniors who are good players need to give a “moving” speech in their final game as they say farewell. Don’t forget to shed a few tears for dramatic effect. 99% of these speeches goes like this.
“I would like to thank my coaches, my teammates, the fans and all the people that supported me. You guys are the best. I would also like to thank my family. I love everyone…..blah blah blah…”
Raise your hand if you have heard this before. I am raising both hands up in the air as we speak. It has gotten so bad that I find myself falling asleep during these speeches. It then gets shown on SportsCenter and these guys are ready to breakdown in tears themselves saying how beautiful that was. Can we please hear what these players really really think instead of the scripted speech? We want the truth. The truth has been hidden for years but now we are ready to reveal what players really feel if given a truth serum.
The real speech…
“I am so glad this season is over. Do I really want to thank some of my useless teammates that can’t put in a layup within 1 feet of the basket costing me an assist? It’s time to show me the money!! NBA here I come! I am so sick of eating campus food. No more burgers and pizzas. Its time for steaks and seafood. its time to finally drive that Mercedes and have my own groupies in the NBA. I hope my teammates won’t come knocking after I have millions in my bank account. I am probably going to change my cell number so they can’t find me.”
So can we stop with these scripted speeches. They serve no purpose because most of the time its just lip service.
NO SWEAT
(3/3/21) We all have dirty socks laying around or a T-shirt drenched with old sweat that is tucked away behind the sofa or banished inside a dark closet. When I was younger and after playing pick up basketball and putting up my usual triple double, I would be sweating like a pig and my t-shirt would smell like sewage and who knows how many bacteria was having a party on that shirt under 95 degree heat. For humanity’s sake I would just dump that shirt into the trash and if I could probably lit in on fire. I didn’t want to contaminate my washer and probably needed to wash it twice, dry it and then throw it into the microwave on high for 5 minutes to kill all the germs and bacteria.
Carmelo Anthony and LaMelo Ball swap jerseys after their game. Here is what we want to know. What happens after the jersey swap? Do these guys just frame it up without washing it? Wouldn’t that cause a problem with the smell as time goes by? Imagine walking into a room with a Carmelo Anthony jersey hanging on the wall that he wore 10 years ago. The sweats and bodily fluids on that jersey doesn’t just belong to Carmelo. Besides Carmelo, 17 other players played in the game and their bodily fluids are all mixed in that jersey. Did LaMelo Ball washed his hands after using the bathroom? Did Damian Lilliard pick his nose constantly during the game and transferred some nose excrements onto that jersey? What about all the coughing and sneezing that got on that jersey? How about the possibility that the Covid-19 virus was on that jersey? Not exactly a good idea to preserve the virus on a Jersey.
In terms of swapping, I hope these athletes go as far as jersey swapping and it ends there. I hope they don’t take it to the next level like swapping jock straps, under wears or mouth guards. Here is an idea. How about swapping tattoos? For example: Damon Lilliard will get a tattoo artist to remove his “Miss Piggy” tattoo and Carmelo Anthony would do the same and get his “Garfield” tattoo removed. Then Carmelo would get a “Miss Piggy” tattoo and Lilliard would get a “Garfield” tattoo. That way both players are forever linked in brotherhood. Its also the greatest form of respect.
GONZ
UPDATE 4/5/21: WE ARE SORRY….
(2/17/21) First some random bad news for today. President Biden said “I will not make that happen” on the issue of forgiving 50k from each person’s student loans. He said the money can be better spent elsewhere. Better spent elsewhere?? So I guess everyone needs to keep paying those loans until they are 100 years old or else the collection agency will your best friend . Forget about buying a house or planning for that dream vacation. Instead you can resort to going to open houses and just dream that you live there. Vacation plans need to be downgraded to just road trips. Families can now drive 50 miles in one direction, pull over at a McDonalds pit stop, grab a bite to eat and then turn around and go home. Kids are happy. They got their little toys from their Happy Meals and dad just spent less than $30 bucks for this trip and more importantly he is able to make his $800 monthly student loan payments on time.
There is always hope if you know where to look. If the government is not going to help us struggling Americans out financially we need to take matters into our own hands. Families must go and put there hard earned money on Gonzaga to win March Madness. Gonzaga is the clear favorite to win it all this year. All the powerhouse programs like Duke, North Carolina, Kansas etc are all mediocre this year. Their only competition is Baylor. Gonzaga is currently +260 to win it all. So if you mortgage your house and put 500k down on Gonzaga you are going to take back $1.3 million. That’s right, can you say millionaire over night? Wipe out that student loan and live life again!! Go on that trip to Tokyo. Take that Safari trip and run with the cheetahs. Eat at a fancy steakhouse without staring at the price in horror. Stop driving that same car that you been driving since high school and upgrade to something that has power windows.
So go make that life changing decision. Help yourself if the government doesn’t. We told you to take Tampa Bay and how did that turn out? Now we are telling you to take Gonzaga. You can thank us later.
FREE THROWS…
(1/19/21) The best stories sometimes are the ones that people are not talking about. If Lebron James orders a large chili and tells the cashier at the Wendy’s drive through to keep the change on a $20, it would be all over the news. Lebron would be looked upon as such an amazing and spectacular person. He is so generous and is always looking out for the minimum wage earners of our great fast food industry. Enough of these stories. It’s time we talk about the smaller fishes that shares the same ocean as the bigger fish.
Free throws in basketball should be easy and players should shoot a good percentage yet there are still plenty of college and NBA players that still sucks. Free throws is all about hard work and determination. Nick Guadarrama is the name that every player should know. Who?
Nick Guadarrama is currently a Junior and plays Forward for the University of New Hampshire. The last great NBA player from the University of New Hampshire? Don’t strain your brain thinking. The answer is zero. This is what makes this story so incredible. You see Nick was a bad free throw shooter. As a Freshmen, he shot a pitiful 48.3%. To put it in perspective, Shaq for his career shot 52.7% from the free throw line. Here is when the hard work starts and magic happens. He began shooting tons of free throws and started working on his form. Sophomore year rolls around his free throws percentage was up to 67.4%. Its a great improvement but still a mediocre percentage. It’s time to improve more. More and more hours was spent standing in front of a white line and hurling a round rubbery object through a steel cylinder decorated with white twine. Please note he was standing in front of a white line NOT to be confused with doing a white line. Call of Duty and Angry Birds took a back seat. Junior year rolls around…Bam!! he has become Steph Curry at the free throw line. This year 2020-2021, he is currently shooting 92.7% from the free throw line. He is 36-39 at the line this year. Steph Curry is currently shooting 93.4%. He is only trailing Curry by 0.7%.
Here is the breakdown of his FT% by Year:
2018-2019=48.3%
2019-2020=67.4%
2021-current=92.3%
This is an incredible story about hard work and determination. To go from 48.3% to being on the same level as Steph Curry is just unbelievable. This guy may never step foot on an NBA court but sure know how to step to the line and make it count.
JERSEY ASSEMBLE
(1/14/21) Let us remember January 13,2021. For this is the day that humanity’s time and space continuum was altered and a new course awaits us all. The stone that was cast into the water to start this ripple? James Edward Harden Jr. but please don’t call him Edward. James Harden has been traded from the Rockets to the Nets. The “Beard” is taking his grooming to a new barber shop in the great state of New Jersey and its beautiful shores.
So how does this change space and time continuum? It all has to do with one Lebron James. You see Lebron thinks that he was destine to surpass Michael Jordan finally with one or two more rings. He got lucky this past season. Miami was a cute team last year but nobody is picking them to win the East this year. The Clippers is not a Super Team with Kawhi and Paul George. They remind me more of Penn and Teller. Kawhi being teller because he didn’t talk much while Paul George is Penn who talks a bunch of nonsense. Things like he was not paid to be a scorer.
The path to the title for the next few years for Lebron is going to be real tough because he has to go through the Nets. The Nets is the true definition of a Super Team. They got three guys that can drive to the hoop and they all can shoot from outside. There is no way that the Lakers can shut down all three at the same time in a game. If I was a betting man, I am backing that Brinks truck to the cashier window in Vegas and taking the Nets to win it all.
Lebron James is panicking and cursing right now because his little dream of being the GOAT just went up in smoke. He is going to be whining that its not fair that Harden went to the Nets. Jordan on the other hand just shrug his shoulders with palms up.
BUCKS STOP HERE
(12/18/20) I want to introduce everyone to a friend of mine who plays basketball. He has only two moves. One is to side step you and then dunk over you. The other move is to just run over you and dunk over you. He can also block a few shots. Here is what he can’t do. He can’t shoot free throws. He has no jumper. He can’t shoot 3 pointers. Now I want someone dumb enough to pay him so much money that he can buy his own island and raise genetically engineered dinosaurs.
That friend is Giannis Antetokounmpo and he just pulled off a heist that is making the Ocean’s 11 team scratching their head and asking how did he do it? $228 million for 5 years. That comes out to a little over $45 million a year. Everyone thinks its a great move by the Bucks but they have no clue. Maybe I am the one with no clue but we are not here to talk about me. This is a mistake by the Milwaukee Bucks. I ain’t drinking this green Kool-Aid that everyone is drinking. Giannis may be a nice guy but he is not a great player. Not even close. He is a very flawed player. A superstar that can’t shoot free throws, no jumper and can’t shoot beyond the arc? Yes, I said that earlier in this article but it bears repeating. God forbid if he suffers any moderate to severe injuries to his legs. If he can’t drive and dunk anymore, GA is pretty much useless. Kevin Durant suffer a bad injury and even without the explosiveness he is still a great shooter all over the court. His career can still be very productive. GA has no touch and is all brute force. Please don’t fool yourself. He may have a dozen silky smooth pajamas in his 1000 square feet walk in closet but a silky smooth jumper he does not.
This scenario will happen. Bucks down by 3 points in a playoff game with 3 seconds left. Anyone has confidence that GA can hit a 3 pointer to tie the game? Driving and dunking ain’t going to help in that situation. How about if the Bucks are down by 2 points and Giannis is fouled and is going to the free throw line with no time left. He ain’t going to make those 2 free throws. He is a liability in close games and this is what you want from your superstar that you are paying $45 million a year?? It is going to be sad if the Bucks have to put him on the bench in the closing seconds so teams don’t intentionally foul him.
I have a better chance of getting my pizza delivered in a snow storm than GA delivering a championship to the Milwaukee Bucks.
DID YOU KNOW
(12/10/20) You think you know sports? You think you know college basketball? If so, did you know there is a Transylvania University? Yes, that Transylvania. Transylvania as in where Dracula lives. This Transylvania University is not located in Europe. It is located right in our backyard in Kentucky so its only appropriate that they have a college basketball team.
I was just looking at the college basketball schedule yesterday to see whos playing and when I saw Transylvania vs Morehead State at 6pm. I thought it was a joke but lo and behold they are a real team. I have watch college basketball for years and don’t recall seeing Transylvania ever. I guess they are moving up to playing teams in Division 1 or else no one would know the team existed except for their biggest fan Dracula and the Werewolf. The disappointing thing was that they are call the Transylvania Pioneer. What?!! This is very disappointing and a big letdown. Seriously?? Transylvania Pioneers? That is so weak. Its like naming your kid John when your last name is Johnson. John Johnson? I call it lazy. Who’s imagination did they consult with to come up with such an original name the Pioneers. Was every other team name taken and nothing was left except Pioneers? Did they just decide to just open up a dictionary and whatever word they pointed to with their eyes closed was going to be the name? This is such a waste of a team name. Your university is name Transylvania for god’s sake. It deserves a kick ass team name. They have a bat as a symbol so why call yourself the Pioneers? They needed an intimidating name to strike fear in their opponent. How about Transylvania Blood Suckers? How about Transylvania Monsters? The choices are endless. Students there should start petitioning for a name change.
On a positive note. The fans there must have a blast attending the games all dressed up like Dracula or some sort of monsters from Transylvania. It’s basically Halloween every home game.
WEED GLORIOUS WEED
(12/7/20) I just can’t get rid of these damn weeds in my yard. I use all kind of weed killers and every single year they pop back up like those moles in whack a mole. I want my yard to look like the outfield grass of Fenway Park. I want the weeds to be gone forever. I think a lot of homeowners agree with my me. NBA players however think I don’t have a heart and how can I be so cruel to wish that weeds never existed.
Weeds are a NBA players best friend. It use to be that players smoke a ton of weed before games and it was a problem. We all can tell if someone just smoked weed by just the smell test. I once stood next to this guy on the bus who smell like he was smoking weed for like 8 hours straight because everyone including myself on that bus was getting secondary high (like secondary smoke) from just inhaling the vapors around this guy. I saw smiles on everyone’s face. Well, the NBA announced that they would no longer test for marijuana for the upcoming season. NBA players around the league were breaking down crying. They were hugging each other and didn’t think this day would ever come. Some players became inconsolable. The league had counselors on stand by for players who needed help with extreme happiness. This was bigger than any Covid vaccine news. No more looking forward to playing the Denver Nuggets in Colorado. No more hiding the smell before games with cologne baths and no need to cut down on just one hit of the joint. Smoke all the weed you want. Think of it as a weed buffet. Be proud that the whole arena will smell like a marijuana grow house. Be proud that every fans (when we have fans back) will become high with you. Going to a NBA game is going to be a happy experience for everyone.
Who cares if we just lost game 7 of the NBA finals by a last second shot. There is a weed party afterwards and the lost will just be a distant memory. Move over Jordan, Adam Silver just became the GOAT of the NBA. He is going to celebrate with a “big cigar”.
IN BILL WE LAUGH
(12/1/20) Not all Bills are created equal. You have a $10 dollar bill and you have a $100 dollar bill. You have Bill Belichick and you have Bill Walton. Bill Belichick, a man of little words. Bill Walton, a man with endless opinions and thoughts.
Watching Bill Walton as color analyst for college basketball is pure gold and must listen tv. You get to see college basketball and at the same time your getting a stand up comedy routine. I found myself laughing at least 5 times in the last 7 minutes of the Texas vs. Davidson game. Bill Walton should have his own Netflix special.
This is from the Texas / Davidson game.
Bill Walton – “This is the best I’ve ever seen Huffman play.”
Jason Benetti – “This is the second game of his career.”
And this….
Bill Walton – “..when you think of Texas you think of Kevin Garnett…you think of Stephen Curry”
We need Bill Walton to liven up these games because they are just plain awful to watch. Every single game you see the same thing. Every possession teams are dribbling and passing back and forth for 30 seconds outside the 3 point line and when they do throw the ball inside to a big man he looks totally confused and just kick the ball back out and then the dribbling continues outside the 3 point line until someone throws up a jumper that has less than 50% of going in.
Most of these kids can’t hit a short jumper to save their scholarship. It also seems like 8 out of 10 kids can’t shoot better than 70% at the free throw line. They are only playing basketball because they are probably the tallest people on campus. “Hey, your tall, you want to play basketball?” This is recruiting for teams that can’t get the big names to play for their program.
Besides March Madness, I wouldn’t watch college basketball unless there is nothing else on TV. Bill Walton allows me to watch college basketball again. How many 68 years old is going to change into a tie dye t-shirt in front of the whole arena and cameras? Bill Walton that’s who. His great words of wisdoms are second to none. I am guaranteed to be entertain even if I have to go watch countless missed free throws and jumpers.
A LITTLE GIFT
(11/29/20) College basketball recently tipped and there is no better way to usher in the season but with a movie to show how glorious college basketball is. Blue Chips was on cable tv and every college dean and athletic director is cringing and counting down every single second till the movie is over. Every sports fan should watch this movie not because it shows the ugly side of college recruiting but because Al “4 touchdowns” Bundy is in it.
Blue Chips is a movie that no college and university wants you to see. Why?? This stuff STILL happens to this day. There are plenty “Friends of the Program” across college campuses. How many kids are leave recruiting trips happier and richer? Hey what is this duffle bag stuffed with cash sitting in my room? Geez, I wonder is it for me. Think of Zion Williamson as Neon Boudeaux. Remember the whole story of how Zion’s parents go from living in a small house to a mansion within a few months? Shhh…be quiet, the media was told to stop looking into this story and there is nothing to see here. Let’s just keep talking about how great Zion is so we may never bring up this story about the mansion again.
This is the rule regarding gifts in the NCAA.
DO NOT provide awards or gifts to a prospect or student-athlete for his or her athletic performance. All awards must conform to NCAA regulations and must be approved by the institution.
This rule is constantly broken by colleges and universities just like the 65mph highway speed limit . They make millions with their programs and they want their athlete. You better have the “gifts” ready and line up for the recruiting visit. Don’t forget the “parting gifts”. Don’t worry “Friends of the Program” is on it. Double check what his favorite color is because we wouldn’t want to get the wrong color Mercedes. The coaches will claim no knowledge of anything that goes on. Hmmm..I wonder if these coaches will submit to a polygraph test.
Next time you hear this or that 5-star recruit signing with a particular school, just remember that he “likes what he got” and made a decision not based on getting a higher education or the school having a great chess club.
CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT UP!
(11/23/20) We all have heard of buyer’s remorse where we regret buying something. Buyer’s remorse does not happen to rich people because they just simply buy something else and all is forgotten. Michael Jordan is rich. He is very very rich and he has a different kind of remorse. He has Draft Remorse.
A few days after the NBA Draft….
**The following is a dramatization of what may or may not have happen but we are 99% sure it happened**
Secretary: “Sir, you have a phone call, he wants to play you one on one”
Jordan: “What?, is it Lebron again?? Does this guy every give up? He will never be the GOAT!”
Secretary: “No sir, its not Lebron this time, he said his name is Ball”
Jordan: “What?, the rookie we just drafted?? LaMelo Ball??”
Secretary: “No sir, its actually his dad…LaVar Ball, he said he wants to whoop your ass one on one, he also wants to have his own line of sneakers, that he wants to call Air Ball”
Jordan: “oh lord, what have I done? call Adam Silver and tell him that I want a redo of the NBA Draft”
This my friend is Draft Remorse. Jordan should have done his homework before drafting LaMelo Ball. It was always a package deal. You draft the kid, you get the dad as a throw in. It’s like ordering a hotdog. The bun is always a throw in. No one actually gets just the hotdog by itself. This is a nightmare situation for Jordan. LaVar Ball is not going to stop flapping his mouth on how LaMelo is the best player in the league. He will tell stories that he beat Jordan one on one behind close doors. He is going to lurk in the shadows and as soon as there is a microphone, he will jump out and talk absolute nonsense. Why would anyone draft any of his kids? Is it really worth it with the headaches? The Lakers are probably so glad that Lonzo is no longer a Laker. Jordan will learn soon enough that he made a mistake. There is a sale on ear plugs this Black Friday and I suggest Jordan stock up on it.
DON’T CARE
(10/9/20) As a kid I use to say “don’t care, don’t care, don’t care” I am going to speak for everyone because I could and say that nobody cares about the NBA Finals. I would rather watch clothes dry for hours.
The NBA Finals is having terrible ratings and its not really a shocker. People are quarantining and still no one wants to watch these games except for the two cities involved. Let’s break down the matchup between Miami and LA.
The only thing we care about Miami are the beaches and until we all are 66 years old and 6 months. Miami can welcome us all they want but its mostly for Spring Breakers. Another also annoying thing about Miami is they have these little geckos running around all over the place. These little suckers are like part of the residents there. They are asking to be stepped on… accidently of course. We do not condone purposely stepping on these poor creatures for your entertainment. The other annoying thing about Miami is does ever car whether its day or night has to lower its window and blast their radio while driving at the speed of 1mph? Does every female under the age of 25 needs to wear a bikini 7 days a week?
Los Angeles, the city is as fake as imitation crab meat. Have inspiration to be a movie star? Start as a waiter or waitress and sleep your way onto a movie set. Have inspiration to be a singer? Same path, start as a waiter or waitress and sleep your way into a studio. Plenty of beautiful people everywhere is true…unfortunately, its only on the outside. Underneath those beautiful faces and body you have a “Mr. Hyde” or a “Mrs Hyde” and not Dr. Jeckle. Like Miami, LA drivers also loves turning up the music with the window all the way down…except in LA, the land of the Fast and Furious…they go 2mph instead of the 1mph in Miami.
They should just stop the NBA Finals right now and have a different competition between the cities. It will probably draw more ratings. They should compete to see which city have more fake people with fake tans. Which city can turn up the music the loudest while driving very very slow. Is Disney Land or Disney World more fun? Both cities also have an infatuation with Pitbulls. Miami just have one that we know of. LA has over 200,000 pitbulls used as killing machines.
Thank god that the NBA Finals is over in a week. That time slot need to be replace with more interesting entertainment than grown men bouncing a basketball million of times for millions of dollars.
“LAZY”
(9/23/20) I use to have this friend that was so lazy it was unbelievable. We call him Lazy Larry. One Saturday, I asked him to come out to hang out with the boys but he said he has to do chores around the house so he can free up time to watch football on Sunday. I was shocked and impress with his time management and thought process. Is “Lazy Larry” turning the corner and becoming “Laureate Larry”? Come 10pm the same day, I gave him a call and see what is going on. I found out that for that period of more than 8 hours, he did absolutely nothing. He did water his lawn and the rest of the time he was watching movies and stuffing his mouth. Basically nothing was done except for a happy lawn!! What does this stupid story has to do with anything you ask? Well, Anthony Davis reminded me of Lazy Larry.
Davis played 43 minutes out of 48 minutes and managed to grab only 2 rebounds. That’s right, 2 impressive rebound!!! He pretty much played the whole game. Anthony Davis is not exactly a Smurf in stature. He stands 6’10” and if he put his hand straight up without jumping, he has a reach of 9′. To put into perspective, the NBA basket is 10′. To get only 2 rebounds for the entire game is just plain lazy and unacceptable. These are playoff games with the NBA Finals on the line. Did he decided to take a day off just because he hit a game winner a few days ago? If that is the case, hitting the game winner is the worst thing that could have happen. Talk about resting on your laurels.
Rebounding in the NBA is about effort. What makes it worse is that Davis is the second tallest player on the court besides Nikolai Jokic. Jokic is only 2 inches taller and he had 10 rebounds. Jokic although 2 inches taller has a vertical that you might have a difficult time sliding a piece of paper under. Anthony Davis has a vertical of 35.5 inches!! Lazy, lazy, lazy is the only explanation. Remind me of “Lazy Larry” and a cat I use to own as a kid. He would sit there for hours and not move an inch and the only time he would move was to roll over and take a nap. Maybe he deserves a new nickname instead of “The Brow”, he should be call the “Big Lazy Cat”.
NBA MVP
(9/19/20) There are just some people that thinks the world revolves around them. If they don’t get the result they want, they throw a little tantrum.
Giannis Antetokounmpo won the 2020 NBA MVP with 85 first place votes. Lebron James got only 16 votes. The 16 votes did not sit well with Lebron. He is upset and believes that the voting is more about something else. This is what he said.
Lebron James: “I don’t know how much we are really watching the game of basketball, or are we just in the narration mode?
What a big baby. Someone please go and comfort the King and give him some tissues to wipe away those tears. Better yet, get him a big pacifier so he can suck on it. Tell him his kingdom is not under siege and people are not forming a coup to overthrow him. Reality is starting to hit Lebron that maybe he is no longer well-liked. The MVP award is also a popularity contest when it comes down to two close candidates. People no longer are just going goo-goo-ga-ga over Lebron and worshiping him like the most perfect human being to ever walk the earth. The Lakers are also good because of one Anthony Davis. This is not all your doing Lebron.
On the surface, Lebron comes across as likeable and is this great person that can do no wrong. The more we hear this guy talk, the more we realize that this guy is a different person on the inside.
GEORGE
(9/17/20) The more things change the more things remain the same. Covid-19 has changed a lot of things but one thing remain constant no matter what. The Clippers still stinks. Losing a 3-1 series lead is unacceptable with that roster. It’s time we point the finger and place the blame. The blame has to go to Paul George. He was suppose to be the final piece along with Kawhi Leonard that was going to bring the Clippers out of the Laker’s shadow into primetime. The Clippers was suppose to be the new star in Hollywood, Instead, they remain the supporting actor to the Lakers.
Paul George is just a good player. He is not the superstar that Kawhi thought he was getting. Paul George was playing more like Curious George. It would have been more entertaining to watch an episode of Curious George trying to solve problems then to watch Paul George be the problem. He is not capable of taking over a game and scoring when Kawhi is having a bad shooting day.
We should have seen trouble on the horizon when George said “scoring the ball is not what I do”. Really?? In the NBA, if you get pay a boat load of money, you are pay to score a lot of points. Points=$. His main role is to score. The last time I check if you score less points than the other team when time expire you will 100% lose.
Kawhi made a mistake in trading for George. We now see that he is overrated and what happens when the lights get bright in Hollywood. He doesn’t want to be in a Hollywood blockbuster. He wants to be in a cartoon series.
GIVE ME THE BALL
(9/11/20) You will do fine in life if you always put yourself in a no-lose situation and everything to gain. The NBA is the only sport where this is possible.
Always always take the last shot in the NBA. Superstars in the NBA are always cementing their legacy because of this opportunity. Nobody is going to remember who misses the game winner years from now. They will however remember who hits the game winner because it will be talked about forever.
Lebron James has played over 16 seasons in the NBA and has 5 buzzer beaters in the playoffs. Those 5 highlights are being played thousands and thousands of times over the years. You would have think this guy is just a stone cold assassin and unbelievable. The other team is just trembling in fear when he has the ball with the game clock winding down right? Not so fast. Let’s take a closer look.
Here are the facts. Lebron James the second greatest player in NBA history will had played in 248+ playoff games when 2020 is done. He has hit 5 buzzer beaters in the playoffs. Let’s just assume that out of the 248+ playoff games,30% come down to the last shot. Playoff games tend to be close after the 1st round so using a 30% assumption is reasonable. That comes out to 74 games (248*.30=74 st games). So if he hits 5 buzzer beaters with 74 attempts that comes out to just 6.7% success. He is failing 93.3% of the time. That doesn’t look so great does it?
The point is we only remember all the buzzer beaters. We brush aside all the misses and can’t remember them as the years go by. There is nothing to lose by taking the last shot and everything to gain. This is what you call a no-lose situation.
BEWARE OF FALLING ROCKS
(9/5/20) We as humans being tend to make a mountain out of a mole hill because sometimes we can’t help it. The result is that you now have this mountain that is turning into a volcano and will start spewing lava and rain down giant rocks on you. Ask the residents of Pompeii.
The Brooklyn Nets has just hired Steve Nash to be their new head coach. No big deal cause coaches are hired and fired all the time. Steven A. Smith of ESPN decides that he wants to turn this mole hill into a mountain. He decides to inject the word “white privilege” into this situation. He implies that Steve Nash somehow with no coaching experience got the position because his skin color played a part in it. He argue that guys like Tyronn Lue and Marc Jackson was bypass and its ridiculous.
This is has nothing to do with black or white. Smith here is just reaching trying to say black people are once again overlooked for a coaching position. Let’s be honest here. Kyrie Irving and Kevin was the one that “actually” hired Steve Nash. If both of them didn’t give their blessing, Nash would still be known as a former player and not the new head coach of the Nets. The last time I check, Irving and Durant are both black. You cannot apply “white privilege” if the hiring party is black! They could easily have chosen Tyronn Lue or some other black coach if they wanted it. But they didn’t!! They chose Steve Nash because they like him. It is that simple.
If Steven A. Smith has a problem with this hiring he should go talk to Irving and Durant. Steven A. Smith needs to stop keeping score between blacks and whites. There is nothing to see here unless you purposely want to create tension. I am sure we have not heard the last from Steven A. Smith about “white privilege”. He is keeping a close eye on who Steve Nash chooses as an assistant head coach. Please, please…I promise not to litter out of my car window while driving if Steve Nash puts together his whole coaching staff with just white people. It would be great theater watching Steven A.Smith goes berserk and lose his mind.
EXCLUSIVE!!
(8/30/20) We are proud to bring you an exclusive story on what went down at the NBA players meeting. It was a meeting where players decided to whether or not to sit out the rest of the season to protest the shooting of Jacob Blake. It was also reported that Lebron James stormed out of that meeting. We finally have gotten the details of that story. Our insider correspondent Fred was on the wall and is here to give us the juicy details.
The NBA players meeting was held inside Cinderella’s Castle at 7pm and there were numerous players from each team in attendance.
(Trumpets playing and Lebron enters wearing a crown)…
Lebron James: Ok everyone listen up!! As your King, I have decided that we all sit out the rest of the season.
(Murmurs among the players…)
Several players: What?.. I thought we are here to discuss and vote on this.
Lebron: No!! I am the King and I make all the decisions. You guys serve me.
(Murmurs among the players gets louder, some are rolling their eyes…)
James Harden: Lebron, the “King” is just your nickname..your not a real King.
Paul George: I see..so just like Megatron was the nickname for Calvin Johnson??? He is not a Transformer and can’t turn into a robot?
Donovan Mitchell: Thanks for clearing that up. I always that that he was a machine. Its always more than meets the eye *winks eye*.
(laughter among the players…)
Lebron: Quiet!!! Blashphemy!! I am the King!!! You watch your tongue Harden or I will have the guards throw you into the dungeon.
Anthony Davis: Bron, dude you ok? you serious?
(more eyes rolling and players looking at each other)
Lebron: I will release the dragon and eat all of you!!
Jason Tatum: I am scared….I don’t want to be eaten by a dragon.
Jaylen Brown: I am scared too..Tako Falls will protect us!
Luka Doncic: Is Mr. Montrezl Harrell here?
Russell Westbrook: WHAT THE Fd$@%CK IS THIS?
Mickey Mouse: This is my Magic Kingdom not yours Mr. James!
Nikola Jokic **speaking in Serbian** : ова земља је забрљана! (translation: This country is messed up!!!)
Lou Williams **whispers into phone**: hey Google…where is the nearest gentlemans club and what time do they close.
Lebron: I AM THE KING!! I rule the NBA! I demand you all to listen to my command!
(players start leaving the room)
Kawhi Leonard: Ok boys. This meeting is over. We are going to resume the games so I can win another ring.
Adam Silver: Sorry I am late. I was just taking another ride on “Its a Small World’. What did I miss?
(Lebron storms out and meeting over)
Thank you Fred for the great reporting. Some of you might not know but Fred our insider correspondent is literally a fly. He was on the wall that day. Good job
GAMES BACK ON
(8/28/20) The NBA will resume its games. The season will not be canceled. There is too much at stake in terms of money from everywhere and a big mess to the CBA if the season were to be canceled. You simply cannot just boycott a game cause you feel like it. The game is always bigger than the individuals and that includes Lebron James.
Inside information leaked that Lebron was very upset that the Milwaukee Bucks boycotted their game WITHOUT consulting him first. How dare the Bucks make a decision without consulting the King himself. Bucks players are not kids, they don’t need to go to daddy Lebron for permission. Lebron also wanted to speak for everybody and wanted to cancel the rest of the games. Players were turned off by this. There were a lot of players that wanted to resume and finish the season. Lebron wasn’t happy when other players wanted to make their own decisions. This is also about money. He makes millions of dollars and can take the rest of the year off. There are other players on other teams that don’t make as much and can’t afford to not get a paycheck.
This meeting was revealing in a sense that Lebron has always thought he literally is “The King” and that he speaks for every player in the league. During Wednesday’s players meeting, reality hits him that a majority of the players inside the bubble doesn’t share in his thinking and simply will not go along with what he wants to do.
The playoffs will now continue. Lebron has another reason for wanting the season to be canceled. The most obvious is he doesn’t want to play the Clippers without a home court advantage. There is pressure for him to beat the Clippers and he is not that confident that the Lakers can win. He also doesn’t want to be criticize for another fail season in a Lakers’ uniform. Lakers’ fans expect championships. Best records means absolutely nothing. He can never be a Laker great if he can’t deliver a championship.
I AM CONFUSED
(8/25/20) The NBA is just one weird league that we can’t figure out. What is up is down and what is down is up. Confused? So am I. I learned over the last few days that the phrase “Bitch ass white boy” is totally fine to use in the NBA. You will neither get fine or suspended. There will be no backlash from the media or players. It is the new term of endearment in the NBA for white players. Its similar to how players call each other the “N” word. There is nothing to see here…move on.
Another situation recently came up and now I am more confused with the NBA and its stance on things. Luka Doncic hit a buzzer beater 3-pointer to beat the Clippers. This cause Mike Breen who was calling the game to utter his trademark “Bang Bang!” call. My initial reaction was oh oh, this might be bad. Mikey is going to be wishing Luka didn’t make the shot. I was totally wrong. Everyone seems to love the call from Mike Breen. Lebron James quickly jump on twitter to profess his love for the call.
Wait a minute here..Lebron loves the call?? WTF? Now I am more confused by the NBA and its players. Let me explain why. The whole Black Lives Matter movement was pretty much a result of police around the country shooting unarmed Blacks. With that said, aren’t the words “Bang! Bang!” a little insensitive?? I don’t think it should be use in conjunction with a celebratory moment. I figure Mike Breen was going to be in hot water. Juggling his phone as he try to speed dial his attorney to get an apology statement ready. What happened is that EVERYONE loves the call!! Everybody loves Mike just like they love Raymond? What is going on here? Am I living in an alternate dimension that is the NBA?
I hear a voice…
“There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call The Twilight Zone.”
Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HYPOCRITE
(8/23/20) The NBA wants to let the world knows that they are all about racial equality and justice. Black Lives Matter painted on the court and players wearing jerseys with messages. They got a great spokesman in Lebron James. He is the sheriff that watches and hears everything that happens in the league. At a minutes notice, he is ready to go on social media and cry foul. I just checked Lebron’s twitter account…all I hear are cricket sounds. If you are not black, don’t expect Lebron to come to your rescue.
Montrezl Harrell called Luka Doncic a “Bitch ass white boy”. According to Adam Silver and the NBA its not racist and not a big deal. No fine. No suspension. Not even a $10 fine. Was Adam Silver told to look the other way?? What would happen if the situation was reverse and Doncic called Montrezl something similar? hmmm. I am guessing we would immediately hear from Lebron James expressing his outrage. Doncic would lose all credibility. Adam Silver would quickly get on the phone, suspend and fine Doncic the next day. He will also release a BS message that no matter how big of a star you are, this type of behavior will not be tolerated.
The NBA and Adam Silver are a bunch of hypocrites. They have been exposed as such. Luka Doncic is one of the biggest star in the NBA and he gets called a “Bitch ass white boy” on national tv and there are no consequences. Fans around the world are shaking their heads at the NBA. Instead of pounding their chest for racial equality, the NBA should just go pound sand.
Adam Silver loses all credibility. His words about racial equality are now meaningless and just hot air. You cannot expect people to believe your message if it is just a one way street. The NBA’s message is now crystal clear. NBA Cares…..only if you are Black.
EASY DECISION
(8/21/20) We all like easy decisions in life. Would you rather find a $10 bill or $100 bill on the ground? Would you rather have a nice sunny forecast for your bbq or a raging hurricane with 100mph wind? In poker, should you call someone’s all-in when you are holding the royal flush? For the championship in fantasy football, should you start Patrick Mahomes or should you start Tyrod Taylor? We all wish life can be this easy.
Life can be that easy for the Timberwolves. The Minnesota Timberwolves has the number #1 pick for next year’s NBA draft. The debate is already starting. LaMelo Ball or Anthony Edwards? Give me 1 second and I’ll make the decision for the Timberwolves. You take Anthony Edwards. It is that easy.
This is something you don’t want to hear when Adam Silver makes the announcement.
Adam Silver: ” With the first pick of the 2021 NBA Draft, the Minnesota Timberwolves select Lamelo Ball and LaVar Ball!”
This is the reaction from every single person in Golden State:
Every Person in Golden State: “YES!! THANK YOU!! BLESS THE LORD!!!”
What? That’s right Timberwolves. They come as a package deal. You draft LaMelo Ball, you will also get his dad as a throw in. We all know how his dad is such a humble and soft spoken gentleman. His dad will be a part of the team whether or not you like it. He will be there in practice, he will be sitting behind you on the team plane and he will be at team meetings. Let’s not forget about this. The Timberwolves players are taking a shower after the game and lo and behold as they look over and sees….LaVar Ball also taking a shower!!! The point is the guy is going to be everywhere.
Do the world a favor, let him go to the Warriors so we can see a daily sideshow between Draymond Green and LaVar Ball. I can’t decide who is the bigger talker. I probably will give the edge to LaVar because the Warriors will probably be LaMelo’s team now and Steph Curry and Klay Thompmson is just along for the ride.
Decision….should I drink another cold beer or some sanitizers?
SPECIAL
(8/17/20) The word “special” no longer has much value because it is used way too much in sports. I particularly hate it when an athlete is described as “special”. You cannot go watch an NBA game and not hear the word “special” constantly. If I have to drink every time I hear the word “special” during an NBA game, I would probably have to check myself into Alcohol Anonymous when the game is over. It is that bad.
I set the over/under on the number of times we hear the word “special” during the NBA playoffs at 10,000 times. I am going with the over. Its as if the broadcasters are constantly reminded by the league to use that word every chance they get. Heck, just throw in the word “special” randomly if you feel like it. Things such as “That timeout was special” or “the ball look special”. But when you see those crazy NBA mascots jumping on a trampoline, somersaulting, jack knifing 100 feet through the air and dunking the ball with his tongue and the broadcasters are barely impress. Lebron James make a simple free throw and he is “special”.
Let’s just stop with the word “special” in sports. The word “special” should be reserve for other things that are indeed spectacular and truly unbelievable. Things like special buy 1 get 15 free or a special sale take 99% off! Buy one beer get 15 free beers, now that is special. 99% off a $200,000 lamborghini for $2000, now that is a special sale.
NBA please stop. They are not special. They are just playing a kid game.
FOR ENTERTAINMENT PORPOISES ONLY
(8/15/20) The NBA playoffs are here and its time to make our prediction for who will win it all. The Clippers,Lakers and Bucks are the current top 3 favorites to win the title. Here at PP, we like to think outside the box and go with a team that has great “value” for your hard earn money if you were to place an imaginary wager.
I have crunch the numbers with my magical calculator and have spoken to the basketball gods in my dreams. Not only that but I also made a trip to the local hardware store. I headed over to the spray paint section and blind folded myself. I then spin myself a few times around and then proceed to pick a random can of spray paint and start spraying it on the floor. I heard an angry voice from the horizon “What the hell are you doing?!! you dumbass!”. 15 minutes later… I was kicked out of the store and my wallet was a little lighter. It was however mission accomplish as I saw what color was spray painted on the floor. It was the sign from the betting gods.
Right on the floor of that hardware store was a burst of green paint in the shape of a “C”. What does it all mean I ask myself? Putting one and one together, I finally got the message!
The Boston Celtics will win the NBA Finals at 10-1 odds. It’s time to drain all your savings, max out your cash advance from your credit card, borrow money from a 50% interest rate payday loan, borrow money from people you know and don’t know, sell your house and head down to Vegas.
Again, we would like to stress this is for entertainment porpoises only!. Yours truly, is ready to lay down his hard-earned one domination of Andrew Jackson on the Celtics.
CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES
(8/12/20) Friends, Romans, countrymen lend me your hand and I will bring you into the NBA bubble. The 2nd round of the playoffs will be open to the public so to speak. Families aside, players are able to bring in others. The qualification is that the person you are bringing must have a ‘long-standing relationship’ with you. What does this really mean??? Is the league speaking in code?? We would assume that if a player bring someone in that person is somewhat close. How is the league going to prove that they are not? The league is just trying to protect themselves. We know the players can bring whoever they want.
This is going to be interesting to see who brings who into the bubble. It will pretty much be three groups of people that will be roaming the bubble.
NBA entourage/posse. These guys have been following you your whole career. They are pretty much professional leachers. Enjoying parties, food, entertainment at your expense. They are important because they are trained to tell you how great you are and make you feel important. These guys are definitely invited into the bubble to make players feel special.
Strippers. Lou Williams is on the phone with Magic City making arrangements. If I have been going to Magic City for 15+ years and supporting it with my income, I would consider that a ‘long lasting relationship”.
Groupies. This is pretty much self explanatory. There are plenty of “relationships” going on.
The second round of the NBA Playoffs is going to look very similar to walking down the Vegas strip. You have kids and families. You have guys and girls looking to party and get drunk 25 hours a day, 8 days a week. You have ladies of the night prancing up and down the strip offering services. The players are ecstatic and the second round can’t be here fast enough.
Whatever happens in Vegas… will happen at the bubble.
THE 300 CLUB
(8/8/20) Zion Williamson was a monster in college and became the overall #1 pick in the 2019 NBA draft. He was so explosive that even his sneaker couldn’t withstand the power. The sole is in a better place now.
Zion Williamson is 20 years old. He is not 1 years old. The Pelicans should remove the pacifier from his mouth and stop with the diaper training. He is listed at 6’6″ and weighs 284. He is dangerously approaching the magic number of 300. We all know the significant of 300…….”THIS IS SPARTA!!”. Williamson can only hope he was as ripped as those guys in the movie.
He is young and should be able to play consistent minutes. I think the truth is that this guy has a problem being in shape and the team is trying to protect him from criticism. You are the #1 overall pick. It means you are the best player in the draft. Being out of shape is ridiculous because that means there is a motivational problem or a work ethic problem.
Let’s cut to the chase and just say it. Zion Williamson is lazy. He looks chubby and doesn’t look like a well-condition athlete. I am sure the Pelican’s strength and conditioning coach is trying to get this guy to be in better shape. What can you do if the guy is not motivated? He has already suffered a knee injury and adding more pounds is not going to help.
Thus far in his NBA career he is averaging .4 blocks per game. This is a little bit concerning to say the least. At Duke,he had a vertical of 45 inches. If you can jump 45 inches and not average at least 1 block so far in your young NBA career is a big red flag. Is he lazy and doesn’t want to play defense? Is he out of shape and the explosiveness is not there? This is his first year in the NBA. He should be fired up and show why he is the best player in the draft. Instead, the team has to watch his minutes in the bubble? Hello? Didn’t he get enough rest over the last 4 months when the league was suspended?
He looks like he spends more minutes gulping down food then minutes spend in the weight room or on the treadmill. The writing will be on the wall the moment he starts doing food commercials.
FLIP THE SWITCH
(8/6/20) We hear all the time that NBA teams can simply turn on the switch when it comes to playoff time. They would rest their star players and end up losing a few games as the regular season wraps up. This mindset is arrogant and often times it doesn’t work. You can flip the switch all you want but without electricity the light bulb is not going to light up. I learn this lesson when I forgot to pay the electrical bill.
The key to winning championships is not by resting players and losing games in the process. The key is building momentum. You want momentum heading into the playoffs. Momentum makes teams dangerous and makes a great team unbeatable. You want to be that little snowball rolling down the side of the mountain and as it picks up speed it gets bigger and bigger. It then gets so big that you become unstoppable.
The Lakers are picked as the favorite to win the NBA Finals. I don’t really know what I am watching with the Lakers. They look bad. They are 2-2 in the bubble. They managed to only beat the Clippers by 2 points. The Lakers could easily be 1-3 if Lou Williams did not have to sit out the game because of a “pit stop” for chicken wings.
The Lakers better not think they can flip the switch and start winning in the playoffs. Maybe they are trying to win games but just can’t. If that is the case, they have no shot against the Clippers. The Lakers’ team is not loaded. It is pretty much Lebron, Anthony Davis, Antetokounmpo and bunch of mediocre players. Wait! What?!! Antetokounmpo is on the team??! Unfortunately, they have the less gifted brother Kostas. When we say less gifted we mean really really really really less gifted. Thus far he is averaging 0 points and 3 minutes per game.
Always take momentum over flipping the switch. Momentum means you are already rolling and in action. The team feels good and team confidence are high. Flipping the switch is more about hoping that there is electricity when you do.
LARRY AND TOMMY
(8/4/20) There is this theory that says that everyone has a twin somewhere on earth. Your doppelganger is out there with the same good looks. Thanks to social media, a legendary Boston Celtics finally gets to meet his doppelganger. Who says social media will be a destruction to humanity? Tommy Red Tomato meet Larry Joe Bird.
The resemblance is uncanny and they both share similarities in life. They both grew up in a small town and farming. Larry Bird built his career from the ground up and Tommy literally was born from the ground up. At one point in life their favorite color is green. They both like to get down and dirty. Larry Bird battled Michael Jordan. Tommy has been around dirt and soil his whole life. “Red” has a special meaning for both.
However, there are some slight differences. Larry Bird stood 6 feet 9 inches. Tommy Tomato is a little on the short side. Larry Bird was a great trash talker and could back it up on the court. Tommy Tomato is not very talkative and there have been rumor that he has never utter one single word ever. Larry Bird didn’t care too much about spending time in the sun because of his fair complexion. Tommy Tomato loves the sun and can spend hours and hours in it. Tommy Tomato compares himself to Superman, the sun makes him stronger.
Arrangements has been made so the two can meet in person. Larry Bird would love to shoot the breeze over a slice of pizza but Larry Tomato does not want to be associated with any part of a pizza. These guys will work it out.
THE STAND
(8/1/20) It is always a difficult decision to stray from the pack especially among your peers. It is easy being a lemming and walk of the cliff in groups instead of being the lone wolf. In professional sports, there is so much pressure to “comply” to “go with the flow”. Jonathan Isaac just made a “stand”.
Jonathan Isaac of the Orlando Magic was the only player to not kneel during the national anthem. What makes this story more interesting is that he is Black. While all the Orlando and Brooklyn players wore Black Lives Matter shirts, Isaac did not. This guy deserves a lot of credit for being his own man. He is not worried about the backlash and people calling him a traitor. He still supports Black Lives Matter and racial equality but he is just taking a different approach. He is putting his relationship with Jesus Christ as a bigger factor. It is also the perfect protection against those who questions his loyalty.
A lot of times, people are just going with the crowd just for the optics. Hey, everybody is doing it so I might as well be cool and do it to. I don’t really care if I really believe it. Jonathan Isaac reminds us that we are are all individuals first and we all have a choice even if it is against the grain. It is ok to stand during the national anthem and still cares about social inequalities.
LEBRON JAMES MAKING BIG SACRIFICE
(7/28/20) When you don’t know how to swim and jump over board to save someone in the water…that is sacrifice. When you give up that Twinkie to stay below the daily calorie intake of 7000 calories…that is a sacrifice. When you give up watching your team in the 7th game of the World Series because your wife wants you to mow the lawn at night….that is sacrifice that no man should have to make.
Lebron James is the biggest drama queen in all of sports and has put all sacrifice to shame. The NBA is ready to resume regular games and gearing for the playoffs. Lebron James decides to tell the whole world that this year he is going to do things different. It is going to be huge. He has decided to leave his phone on during the playoffs !! LEAVE HIS PHONE ON DURING THE PLAYOFFS!! Whoa! The planet need to stop on its axis for a minute and everyone stands up and give him a standing ovation. Ok, the planet can start rotating again. Talk about the ultimate sacrifice!
Last year, Lebron activated “playoff mode” and wanted the league to be afraid. To be very afraid. He was focus and nothing was going to stop him from bulldozing through the playoffs. Well…its the thought that counts right? The Lakers missed the playoffs. Lebron once again put his foot in his mouth. He must have a foot fetish cause he enjoys making predictions that he can’t back up.
This guy constantly needs attention and need people to tell him how great or special he is. Often than not he disappoints but no one has the guts to call him out. Only he can make headlines by declaring that he will leave his phone on during the playoffs. I also need attention and has decided to leave my phone on for 24 hours FOREVER. Please contact the press and tell them I am making a big sacrifice.
HERE’S TO YOU LOU!
(7/25/20) When a love one pass away, grieving is a stage that we all go through. This stage can last for months and even years before we are back to our usual self. Life suddenly is at a standstill. Nothing really matters at the moment.
Lou Williams recently lost his grandfather and was excused from the NBA Bubble to attend his funeral in Atlanta. I wished I could have been there to put my arms around Williams, tell him everything is ok and let him cry on my shoulders. It turned out Williams didn’t need my help. He had plenty of “friends” back in Atlanta.
Like Cheers, Williams needed to be at a place where everyone knows your name. That place is Magic City, a gentleman’s club in downtown Atlanta. Great news! Admission is free between 3pm and 9pm! Lou Williams didn’t win all those 6th man award by being a dummy. He probably went in at 8:59pm and save on the cover charge. There is nothing in this world that can end depression faster than booze and naked females walking around in high heels. Turn that frown upside down. Real men don’t have tears raining down their faces. Real men make it rain inside without any storm clouds. You are healed Lou Williams, now go help the Clippers beat the Lakers.
We dedicate the following song to Lou Williams:
Takes everything you got
Taking a break from all your worries (Bubble is boring..)
It sure would help a lot (2 lap dances for the price of 1)
Wouldn’t you like to get away (hey let’s go to Magic City!)
Where everybody knows your name (hey Lou! sweet Lou!)
And they’re always glad you came (interested in a lap dance big boy?)
You want to be where you can see ( VIP, front center row of the stage)
The troubles are all the same
You want to be where everybody knows your name
The people are all the same
You want to go where everybody knows your name (let’s take a selfie so the rest of the players in the bubble will see how much fun I am having)
BIG BROTHER WATCHING
(7/16/20) Snitches get stitches. I thought in these time we are trying to discourage violence. I guess when it comes to snitches, violence is still encourage. The NBA has set up an anonymous hotline for players to report rule breakers. Rudy Gobert calls it “petty” and that no one will use it. Gobert should not open his mouth because it seems like he hasn’t really learn from his last mistake.
It is actually a good move by the NBA. Stop with players saying they get that they have to stay in the Bubble. The message has been received loud and clear. No one is going to leave the Bubble. Wrong! Two players has already broken protocol. Richaun Holmes of the Sacramento Kings left the Bubble to get food. Bruno Caboclo of the Houston Rockets didn’t waste no time breaking protocol. He was told to stay in his room for the initial quarantine but decided to leave the room.
This hotline is to make sure that anyone can report anyone without feeling that they are a snitch. Example, If I am a nobody like Tako Fall of the Celtics and I see Joel Embiid leaving the Bubble to buy an ice cream cone. Without this hotline, Tako Fall is not going to say a single word fearing the rest of the players labeling him a snitch.
This hotline lets the players know that no player is above the Bubble not even Lebron James. If you are a player that plans to follow protocol, do you really care about this hotline? Players that have issues with this hotline are players that the NBA needs to watch.
THE NEW CIRCUS
(7/15/20) I tried to mix business with pleasure. Not a good idea. I also tried to mix wearing shorts outside of my jeans to impress the ladies. Not a good idea. With that said, sports and politics should not be mix together.
Like movies, we watch sports for entertainment. That 2-4 hours is our bubble and we don’t want to think about anything else. We want to take a break from whats happening in the world. Put the ball in the basket, drive that runner in from second base, cross that goal line and things like that are what I want to see.
The NBA is bringing politics into the game. Why NBA? Why? Players are now allow to replace the last name on their jersey with a “social justice message”. There is a list of 29 messages that you can choose from. For example, James Harden can have “Black Lives Matter” plaster on the back of his jersey instead of “Harden”. One of the more interesting choice is “I am a Man”..not sure what kind of social justice message is being promoted here.
This is going to be the tip of the iceberg so to speak. It is going to sink sports as we know it. The NBA is going to lose fans. You are alienating a portion of your fans that just want entertainment. We want to see a good game and all of a sudden the crowd is chanting “Black Lives Matter” and then you hear boos. What if the crowd decides to chant “All Lives Matter!”.Are there going to be fights in the stands now? Are fans going to be kicked out? Coming soon are we going to have Democrats Night or Republicans Night? Half price beers for Democrats?
Surely, the NBA has thought about what could happen right? ….right? ….right?
LET IT RIFF
(7/14/20) Wait, I thought the players are going down to Orlando to work. It is looking more and more like they are going down there for vacation. Players and coaches are bringing all sort of things down to Orlando. Let’s see what they are bringing.
- Rick Carlisle-Sent a piano down to Orlando. (guess he is going to know what keys are important to win the NBA Finals.
- Goran Dragic-Ipad and phone (nice and simple. Its all about business)
- PJ Tucker-60 pairs of shoes (unfortunately, he brought only 2 pairs of socks)
- Luke Walton-seven plus pound of coffee beans and a coffee grinder ( maybe he is a bean counter. It might take a while to count all the beans)
- Montrezl Harrell-portable sauna (guess the humidity, mugginess and 130 degree heat is not hot enough in Orlando.
- Steven Adams-guitar (he is attempting to get permission to play his guitar on the balcony of Cinderella’s castle)
- Danilo Gallinari-forgot his guitar (No need to call CSI if Steven Adams’ guitar goes missing)
and finally
- Lebron James– brought 350,000 peasants, 10,000 knights, a juggler, a court jester and a real life dragon. He also requested that Disney World build a small medieval town so that he would feel like the King. Disney executives just rolled their eyes.
TOO GOOD FOR THE ROOM
(7/13/20) Disney World is the happiest place on earth. People from all over the world come to create happy memories. Its not a place where people come to complain.
What happens when you complain at the happiest place on earth? You break a finger. That is exactly what happened to one Rajon Rondo. The moment he slides his keycard into card reader, sunny skies are overtaken by dark clouds. All the birds that were singing outside, stopped and their beaks dropped. In walk a 6 feet 1 inch Grinch of the NBA. Rajon Rondo is his name. Profanities started to explode from his mouth. What is this Sh$#^$!? he uttered. He was really disappointed with the room comparing it to Motel 6. Knowing Rondo, he probably threw a tantrum and threw his mouth piece. If there was a referee in the room, he would have given Rondo back to back technicals and threw him out of the room.
This is unbelievable! These guys are just spoiled and entitled. What did he expect the room to look like? Rondo isn’t exactly on vacation. He is there to do a job. The nerve of Disney to not have a 20 foot water bed. The audacity of Disney to not have a 75 inch TV and a game console hooked up. Mini fridge are for poor people, rich spoiled athletes need to have a full size fridge filled with Cristal. Get rid of these regular rugs, they need a tiger skin rug at the foot of their bed. What about in room entertainment? You expect these guys to watch Disney movies? Anything short of a mirror ball and stripper pole is not acceptable. Bonus points if there is a DJ booth.
Perhaps he was upset he didn’t get a room like these:
or this…
We never want to wish injury on a player but maybe its karma getting back at Rajon Rondo. You don’t come to Mickey’s play ground and make fun of his rooms.
HAND IN THE COOKIE JAR?
(7/10/20) Zion Williamson is in hot water after his stepfather allegedly took $400,000. There is a lot of he said she said but this fact alone pretty much tells you all you need to know. How can a family go from paying $895 a month for rent to living in a mansion worth close to $1 million before he was even drafted into the NBA. Don’t forget to throw in a few cars. Someone’s net worth definitely changed.
Human Greed and the lack of patience is always the culprit behind things like these. Zion Williamson was going to be the unanimous first overall pick in the NBA. The money was coming. The family just had to wait 1-2 years and they can buy as many cars as they want and live in however big a mansion they want. They couldn’t wait and wanted immediate satisfaction.
People need to stop defending this and say it happens all the time with college basketball. If its against NCAA rules than its against the rules. The rule is there for a reason. Let’s look at a different angle on this rule. Let’s allow players to accept money from whoever they want. What happens if a player accept $1 million dollar from a bad source such as from organized crime, bookies, shady characters etc. What happens then if a player cannot fulfill their “obligations” to these people. Are these “generous individuals” then going to be regular visitors to the campus and need to have a “talk” with a player?
The NCAA landscape would be an unimaginable big mess. Universities and colleges are also in the business of providing higher education. I would not want my kids going there.
I see NBA analysts falling over each other calling Zion a great kid, smart and special without knowing who he really is. They are pointing the finger at his stepfather as if Zion has no clue. I am pretty sure Zion woke up in a mansion and didn’t know how he got there.
FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD!
(7/8/20) NBA teams have been arriving in Orlando and already there are complaints. Is this really a surprise to anyone? Rich, spoiled and entitled athletes having their luxurious lifestyle downgraded. The first of many complaint to come is the food. We hear all the time athletes saying “they gotta eat” literally and figuratively. Players have started posting picture of what they have to endure.
What dinner looks like
How dare the NBA serve garbage like these to the players. Don’t they know who these guys are? They are millionaires and you expect them to eat like regular folks? Wait till King Lebron see what he has to eat. Heads are going to roll and someone is getting thrown into the bubble dungeon.
What dinner look like after complaints
When I was younger, I use to sneak food into the movie theater all the time. This is what is going to happen to the NBA. Players will sneak in food or sneak out for food. I am sure this is against protocol but players are not going to care.
The NBA Bubble is not off to a good start. This is just the beginning and many more complaints are sure to come.
A CITY INSIDE A “BUBBLE”
(7/2/20) The NBA wants to finish its season inside a “bubble” but players are still uncomfortable with the idea. Is it really about players safety or is it something else? hmmm…we think its really about something else. What it really comes down to is that players don’t want to be “stuck”. These guys need freedom and they have their needs. Ask them to be in the same place for a few months will drive these guys up the wall. The key is to make these players feel right at home at Disney World. I propose a 4-phase plan.
Phase 1. A 10-story department store will be built inside Disney World. It will carry the finest men’s clothing, shoes and accessories. This will allow the players to look good before and after the game.
Phase 2. There needs to be a mega jewelry store inside Disney World. Players love their bling. Gold necklaces, rings, earrings will be available for purchase and for players that don’t earn much financing and layaway are options.
Phase 3. A marijuana dispensary will be located inside Disney World. The World is in a pandemic and everyone is stressed including players. Players need a way to relax.
Phase 4. A strip club would need to be built inside Disney World. There needs to be a continuous flow of champagne and new strippers need to be brought in on a weekly basis. With how hot Florida can get during the summer, players are encouraged to “make it rain” inside the club.
Adam Silver can learn a lot from watching Field of Dreams? If you build it, they will come. These players will love playing inside the “bubble”. Some might not want to leave the “Happiest Place On Earth” when the season is over.
EGO-EASY GOING OVERBOARD
(6/27/20) There are people that think highly of themselves with no shame. Their ego is so out of control. Take me for an example. I know I am the best and the most perfect human being on earth. I can beat Michael Jordan with one hand tied behind my back. If I played football, I would have lead the Patriots to 20 Super Bowls and win them all. I am the Mike Trout of baseball before there was Mike Trout.
When it comes to ego comparison I cannot compare to one Lebron Raymone James. By comparison he is Bill Gates and I am just an entry level pathetic tech support trainee.
Lebron James and his business partner recently raised $100 million from investors to form a new company called Springhill Co. So what’s the problem you ask? There is two things that bothered me.
Number one. Lebron is making $37 million this year with the Lakers. He has made over $270 million and counting in his NBA career thus far. This does not include other endorsements and ventures. Why does he then need to raise $100 million?? Raising money means you are giving people a percentage ownership of the pie or there is a financial trade off down the road. Smart business is not giving any piece of your company out if you have the money and can outright own your company. James has the money. So this comes down to one thing. James has absolutely no confidence in this venture by himself. On the flip side I guess it’s kinda smart. Play with other people’s money and it is not going to hurt much when the company goes down the toilet.
Number two. This is another example of who James really is. It is always about him only and the need to be the “king”. He wants his name plastered everywhere because he has money and not because he is capable. James is the Chairman of this company. I had to make sure I had it correct and sure enough he is the Chairman. People across the business world is rolling their eyes on this and probably laughing. Why? A Chairman is pretty much the highest person in a company. A Chairman also oversees the board of directors. If you look at who is on the board of directors with this company. These are the smartest people in the business world and someone Lebron surpasses them all and became the Chairman??. I guaranteed Lebron James does not have the experience that these guys have.
Lebron may have title of Chairman but that is all he is going to get. On the surface they will act and say the right thing and kiss his butt. Behind the scene, he will be a laughing stock. This goes to show you that you can buy yourself into a position but you cannot buy real respect.
I LOVE NEW YORK
(6/22/20) Steven A. Smith of ESPN’s First Take is clearly out of his mind. He loves New York but love has blinded him. Talking loud does not make you correct. He suggested that the NBA should move from playing its games in Florida to New York City. Is he serious?? Moving to the epicenter of the coronavirus, doesn’t sound like an intelligent move. Let me check my calendar. Nope, its not April 1st so I guess he is serious.
The whole issue boils down to player safety. Let’s not forget New York has the most cases and even if it has declining cases, a spike can happen at any time. Basic math will tell you New York City is one of the worst option. The more people around you means the more chances of getting expose to the virus. If there are 20 people in my whole town, I can be confident that I can social distance effectively and feel relatively safe when I am out. New York City is the MOST crowded city in the US. We just have to look at population density. New York has 421 people per square mile. Florida has 353 people per square mile. Again, more people means more risk.
If the NBA truly wants safety, they should play in Alaska. I am sure there are basketball courts in Alaska. Alaska has just 1.2 people per square mile. If all players, coaches, staff etc are all negative and stay within a “bubble” then the risk should be close to zero. The NBA should play their games there. Endure a few months in the cold and just crown a new champion.
ANYONE SEEN MY BRAIN?
(6/19/20) Have these guys gone Gonzo?? The NBA is planning to resume their season on July 31, 2020 and the main focus will be on player safety. The NBA should be worried about what these players are doing currently. There are going to be a lot of players who are going to test positive. Look at the stuff that is going on. Adam Silver must be saying “Are you kidding me??” and “What are these guys doing??”
Earlier this month in June, Trae Young was playing in a summer league game. First of all, there are summer league games going? You can see from the background that the court was pretty packed. I had to look again to make sure they were humans instead of sardines cause they were so packed together. No face masks are even visible. The hope is this guy in blue guarding Young does not have the coronavirus because he is pretty much breathing in Young’s face.
The following week, Buddy Hield decides that he needed to have some fun too. He did end up scoring 45 points so someone please give him the game ball. Once again, you see a quite a bit of people at the gym. As usual no masks were seen. Adam Silver wished that Gonzo could have talk some sense into Buddy Hield but unfortunately Gonzo has his own problems to deal with as his girlfriend is a chicken.
Adam Silver is probably not the only one questioning what are these guys doing. Their agents, coaches and families are probably also wondering why are they doing this. We just don’t know what the thinking is or maybe thinking just hurts the brain too much and to borrow a Nike slogan. Just do it. who cares what happens later.
HOLD MY BEER
(6/7/20)Lebron James is very angry these days especially today. All week long he has been pounding his chest on social media against racism and police brutality. Setting straight Drew Brees, Laura Ingram and whoever gets in his way. Unfortunately, he is just a talking head. It’s easy to sit behind a keyboard and type away as if you are the chosen one to lead this movement.
Ok Lebron, don’t pull a muscle patting yourself on the back. Look who just arrive at the door. It is none other than one Michael Jeffrey Jordan. With an alcoholic beverage in his right hand, he tells Lebron “hold my beer”.
Jordan and Jordan Brand is going to donate $100 million in the next 10 years to fight for racial equality. Not 1 million, not 2 million, not $10 million, not $50 million but $100 million!! What do you have to say about that Mr. James? ………….*can someone please get rid of these crickets around here, they are making too much noise*. Hello Lebron??? Sorry Lebron, no matter how hard you try, you will never be on Michael Jordan’s level. Go back to being the king of your imaginary kingdom.
ATHLETE OF THE YEAR
(6/1/20) A man is judge on what he does when times are tough. Jaylen Brown shows that he is a human first and a basketball player second. He has his whole future in front of him and millions and millions of dollars waiting for him. The decision to potentially lose everything and drive 15 hours from Boston to Atlanta to join the protest is absolutely unbelievable.
He has done something 99% of athletes will not even think about doing. They might start doing it later seeing Brown out there but being the first matters a lot. I am certain that the Boston Celtics did ask him if this is something he really wants to do. The Celtics cannot fault him for his conviction and do what he feels is right. The Boston Celtics should be proud that they have such a player.
Athletes should never be looked upon as role models. However, we may have found one in Jaylen Brown.
MAN CARD REVOKED
(5/31/20) Ladies and gentlemen, Dan Orlovsky’s man card has been revoked. His reputation and whatever comes out of his mouth when providing analysis has a credibility of zero. He is also a laughing stock at ESPN and the sports world. The great Pedro Martinez once called the Yankees his daddy. Dan Orlovsky has a new daddy in Damian Lillard.
The story is Orlovsky called Damon Lillard “spoiled and entitled”. What he said most of us agree. He should have stuck to his words. The problem started when Damon Lillard responded especially with the phrase “Mf watch yo mouth”. Orlovsky then backtracked, did a 180 and ask for forgiveness. If Damon Lillard wanted Orlovsky to come and kiss his feet, he would have asked when.
It gets worst. Orlovsky then follow up with another tweet saying “My whole adult life has been spent around good hearted, integrity filled, hard working, kind, funny, intelligent, conscious, motivated, loyal, friendly, trustworhy, amazing successful black people”. I have never seen so many adjectives being used in a sentence. I think he missed a few.
This is pitiful. We need to confiscate Orlovsky’s big boy pants and give him a sun dress for the Summer. He obviously cannot take the heat. He is also relegated to the kids table at Thanksgiving.
SEE BELOW FOR WHAT TRANSPIRED
Talking about Damian Lillard:
“They have to go to work, and they have to go earn their money. I struggle with sitting here and going, you don’t come off — in some way — a spoiled and entitled brat by saying ‘I’m not gonna play.”
Here is what follows on twitter:
(5/29/20) ANOTHER TWEET FROM ORLOVSKY:
MICHAEL JORDAN RULES
(5/18/20) ESPN just released their poll on how fans view Michael Jordan vs. Lebron James.
Let’s just say Lebron is not too please with seeing these numbers. Jordan retired in 2003. That was the same year Lebron came into the league. For 17 years, Lebron tried everything to be the GOAT. He had social media help. He was in the spotlight year in and year out. Like the Avengers, he assembled his own super team to win championships. He tried to hold the nation in suspense with “The Decision”.
Lebron was pretty much the emperor with no clothes. People were afraid to tell the truth. Finally, the fans are standing up and is telling Lebron to please cover yourself up.
LEBRON JAMES NEW MOVIE “HUSTLE”
(5/18/20) Lebron James will again get his name attach as the “producer” of a new Adam Sandler movie coming to Netflix called “Hustle”. James has plenty of money and right now he is just throwing money around to see if sticks. We know James is not going to really do what is required of a producer in terms of involvement with a movie or show. He is just paying money to get his name on it. He wants people to think he is so talented that he is capable of “producing” movies and shows. He thinks his name alone will sell the product.
Reality check for one Lebron James, your name is not good enough to get people interested. Remember the Million Dollar Mile from Executive Producer Lebron James? It was a debacle but the media is afraid to bring it to his attention. It was his very first attempt at being a “producer”. You figure people would be interested to see what he can do. Well, it debut to very low ratings and after two episodes, it was pulled and move to a different day and time slot. People still did not watch it. I don’t even know one person that has seen even one episode. CBS finally decides to just run the rest of the episodes regardless if anyone is watching it just to save James some face.
People will tune in to watch Adam Sandler and not because James is the producer. They want to see if Sandler can follow up on his performance in “Uncut Gems”. James is just waiting in the wings ready to take all the credit. If it flops, James will do what he does best. Throw people under the bus.
SIR CHARLES
Everyone loves Charles Barkley because he tells it like it is. When Sir Charles talk we all listen. During his playing days with the Sixers he had to go up against the Bad Boys of Detroit. This is what he said about playing the Pistons…
“You gotta call your family and tell them you love them just in case you never saw them again,”.
This might seem like an exaggeration on Charles Barkley’s part but with Barkley we know he doesn’t sugar coat the truth. Playing against the Pistons was indeed like getting into a backyard brawl. Barkley was undersized for his position but he was a great at grabbing rebounds and could score. He earned one of the best nickname in the NBA..”The Round Mound of Rebound”. If I had a choice between sitting down with Lebron James or Charles Barkley and talk basketball, I would not hesitate and pick and Charles Barkley.
THE LAST DANCE
The Last Dance is a great storytelling of the greatest player in NBA history. It is Michael Jordan. Only the clueless would think Lebron James is better than Jordan. Jordan is undefeated in the Finals and has 6 championships. Lebron James is 3-5 in the Finals. End of debate.
Every sports fan in America can’t get enough of the Last Dance. The only person changing the channel when it comes on is none other than Lebron James. James must be sick to his stomach that Jordan is getting all the attention at the moment. The problem with Lebron is that he loves the spotlight and wants people to say he is the greatest.
The Last Dance is changing Lebrons’ supporters and even his best friend Dwayne Wade called Jordan the GOAT. We see Lebron many times pouting on the bench during games. Until the Last Dance is over and people stop talking about Jordan, Lebron will pout and not leave his room like a little kid.