A NEW YEAR
(1/3/23) Happy new year to everyone out there! A new year often bring new hopes and promises of trying to become a better human being. Who are we kidding, after a few weeks we will all probably fall back on our old habits and vices. One of this year’s resolution for some of you is to promise to never keep betting a 7 team parlay every again because you didn’t win one single ticket in 2022…instead you become a bigger dummy and is now betting a 10 team parlay every week. The sportsbook should have a parlay room where the only people allow inside are people that bet a minimum of 7 team parlay. A free dunce cap is also given to everyone entering the room. Anyway, good luck to everyone’s resolution for this year.
The new year definitely got off to a fantastic start with the game between USC and Tulane. When your coach Lincoln Riley only cares about offense this is what happens. USC was a 1.5 point favorite and was leading by 15 points with 4:30 on the clock. 4 minutes and 30 seconds later the final score was Tulane 46 USC 45. Great choke job by USC but at least they had beautiful weather in Southern California.
Now to the big story. Today all of America is on pause and prayers are being sent all over for Damar Hamlin. With the game Bengals-Bills suspended, I decided to watch Terminator 2 and went right to sleep after Arnold lowered himself into the lava, I hope everyone forgives me because I forgot to go on social media to send my prayers to Damar Hamlin.
What happen was unfortunate but can we please stop with the spectacle and the drama. Players crying, hugging and the media acting if the world has ended. I have not seen so much drama since I sat in a Shakespearian play. For the record, it was boring but I managed to day dream through the whole performance. The NFL did not need to stop game but had no choice because things are different with this generation. What if this had happened at the Super Bowl? Are they going to postpone it? Good luck telling people that spent 10k to come to the Superbowl to go home because the players do not feel like playing. Let’s just make it easy now and just cancel the whole season. Give every single team in the league a Super Bowl ring. The Bills and Bengals will have to battle it out on Madden where no real human beings can get hurt so we can get our betting tickets graded. The NFL should be disbanded because its too dangerous. It is football and they sign up for this knowing on any play someone can get seriously hurt. They are also paid handsomely and without the NFL 99% of these players will never get behind a Lamborghini or have the ability to make it rain in a strip club.
Today, I called all the hospitals around the country and it is confirmed that there are thousands and thousands of people fighting for their lives as we speak. So why are NFL players not crying, getting on their knees and praying for these people. What makes Damar Hamlin different from my neighbor who also had a stroke? I feel so stupid and uninformed because someone reminded me that the difference is that these professional athletes are “Special” human beings and the rest of us are there to worship them. They matter and the rest of us don’t.
GREATNESS
(11/30/22) Brewing coffee in the morning saves money and often times you are satisfied with its quality because you are in control of the process when it comes down to your bean selection, amount of water, time etc..The more love you put into it the better it taste. There should be no complaints. On the other hand, if you get coffee from a coffee chain or outside establishments you never know what you are going to get. You might get coffee that are water down because the cheap owner decides to grind just 2 beans and mix it with 10 gallons of hot water and throw in some black food coloring to make it look dark. Or….you might also get “burnt” coffee because the 17 year old is too busy texting on his phone and watching TikTok videos with the timer going off for at least 10 minutes.
Speaking of brewing..There is this little village up northeast, where you can hear people singing, dancing and in full holiday spirit. Your first thought is this is probably happening everywhere across the USA because everybody loves Christmas. Well, that is partially true but the reason why this little village is on top of the world is because of what is happening. This city is Boston, Massachusettes. Home to the Boston Celtics and Boston Bruins. These two teams are kicking butt and taking names and it doesn’t matter if you have been naughty or nice..you are getting a present and that is a “L” in the standings. “L” to those that are clueless means loss. Lets take a closer look at what these two teams are doing.
As of 11/30/22…The Celtics and Bruins have a combine record of 36-7. That is a 83% winning record. For teams that come to visit them at TD Garden..(Rumor has it that the “TD” was a tribute to Tom Brady and it stood for Touchdown)…Their combine home record is 23-1. ***MAKING YOU RICH OPPORTUNITY ALERT!! ** For gambling and entertainment purposes…..just take the money line on the Celtics or Bruins whenever they play at home. Nowhere in the history of professional sports has two teams in the same city been this dominant. Some say this is too early but we are close to 25% into the season. Ask Vegas if they think its luck..Vegas has the Celtics and Bruins right at the top when it comes to winning the championship. A majority of the country is probably sick of seeing Boston teams dominating again but what can people do? Write to their local congressman?? These guys are busy accepting bribes and being corrupt to worry about a kids game that adult plays. People maybe just need to accept that Boston is just a great city and deserves all the championships they have earned.
Life may not be fair to other suffering sport cities across America such as Cleveland, Detroit etc..where their fans are constantly miserable and just making the playoffs is a gift from the sports god. The good news is everyone gets to celebrate Christmas so snuggle up with that cup of coffee you just brew.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
(11/19/22)Thanks for nothing….literally. How many times do we have to tell you…DO NOT BUY CRYPTO!! DON’T BE STUPID!!. Not even if Tom Brady, Matt Damon, Mark Cuban, Steph Curry etc endorses it. If you want to live dangerously and want big returns, I would suggest dropping your hard earn money on a 15 team parlay. All the people that I know said they are making a ton of money with Crypto a few months ago are now making decision on what value meals at McDonalds gives them the best bang for their buck. There is no where to run to when a Crypto company goes belly up when the CEO blows through billions of other people’s money. All you can do is go into a fetal position, suck your tumb and lock yourself in your closet. Sam Bankman-Fried, the great CEO of FTX will no doubt “fried” in hell when his time comes. This guy can’t even set food outside wherever he is hiding. Guess he won’t be invited to any Christmas party this year. Its pretty much home alone for this guy. Has anyone seen Kevin??
Brady and Giselle invested $650 million into FTX and it is probably Brady’s worst read in his career. He didn’t see the blitz and sack coming??. The good news is that Brady has time and can make it up by playing till 58 years old at $50 million a year and he can recoup the $650 million loss. This goes to show that Crypto does not discriminate and will wipe out anyone even if you are Tom Brady.
Also, Let’s remind everyone what Steph Curry said on his FTX commercial…
Steph Curry: “No I’m not an expert and I don’t need to be,” Curry said, holding up his phone showing the FTX app. “I have everything I need to buy, sell and trade crypto safely.”
Well, if its good enough for Steph it must be good enough for me right?? Wrong!! If you are not an expert and you don’t need to be and you pour millions into something…then you are opening the door for someone screwing you over and that’s what happen. Millions of dollars may be chump change to Curry but still that is a handful of Ferraris in the driveway.
The lesson to be learned here is no matter who endorses Crypto just say “NO”…Even if Jesus endorses Crypto you must still stay away.
AGAIN, DON’T BE AN IDIOT!! DO NOT BUY CRYPTO!!
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
(6/19/22) “Fortune favors the brave”…that was all it took for Matt Damon to convince people to invest in Cryptocurrency. Everyone was going to become millionaires….fast forward to June 2022…Crypto is nose diving and trillions of dollars are already lost. Damon is no longer cool, we were all rooting for Mike McDermott to go deep at the World Series of Poker but now we hope he gets bad beat on the river and bust out.
The word “Crypt” means a tomb underneath a church that is use as a burial. Throwing a “o” to make it “Crypto” doesn’t change the meaning much. So when you have a term such as “Crypto Currency” it pretty much mean your money is buried underground and won’t see the light of day. People should have seen this coming but instead people jumped on the hype train. This train was traveling on the edge of the mountain and now has jumped the track and is flying over the cliff and will crash and burn at the bottom of the ravine. Taking with it your life savings.
This is our message to our readers….DON’T BE STUPID and don’t invest in these unicorn scams. There are no regulations and governing bodies to protect you. Its a free for all. There are people like Mark Cuban telling you that Crypto is still a great investment and its a good time to buy low. This guy should stick to sitting courtside and watch Mavericks games. He has a ton of money and can afford to lose a big chunk of it but “Average Joe” only has 10k in his savings and is down to 1k on his Bitcoin investment and is now considering a part-time position at Wendy’s.
And we have people such as Jay-Z who is doubling down on this Crypto crap and still trying to rope in dummies. He is opening a Bitcoin Academy at the Project where he grew up to teach people how to become financially independent with Crypto. What on earth??? Someone please tell me this is a joke. This pretty much tells me how smart this guy is. The last time I check, people that lives in the Projects are not exactly well off financially. He is asking people to go through a 12 week course!! If he can manage to get people to sign up, I predict the drop out rate to be 100% after 5 minutes unless there is free weed. This has to be one of the dumbest idea and I compare it to building a yacht dealership right in the middle of the Project. Actually, this might be a great idea from Jay-Z…this guy is an evil genius. He knows all the drug dealers in the projects are banking tons of cash and wants to show them a way to invest their cash aka “laundering”.
You have two choices when it comes to seeing a coin disappear. You can invest in Bitcoin or you can just see a magician make a coin disappear with his hand. I prefer the latter because its much cheaper and I will be more amused.
BACK TO BUSINESS
(5/27/22) A lot of happened in the last month so let’s recap some of what has happened and current top stories.
Dwayne Haskins
Autopsy came back and revealed that Haskins had drugs in his system and his blood alcohol was double the limit in Florida. He was basically drunk and was partying at a club before getting hit a few hours on the highway. Haskins was basically driving drunk with drugs in his system to boot. There was no telling how many people he would have hurt on his way home if he had not ran out of gas. As cruel and insensitive as this may sound,,,maybe this was the best possible outcome. Dr. Strange once told Tony Starks that there was only one way. Stop feeling sorry for Haskins and people like Henry Ruggs. Now that the truth has come out can we stop with calling this guy an angel and that god took him too soon. Any players or coaches want to say anything now? They were all tripping over each other calling him a special human being and one of the greatest QB in Buckeyes history. Looking back, the one statement that induces vomit was that he always thought and care about other people..Was he thinking about other people or families that he might have ruined when he decided to pop his key into the ignition? The real hero in this story may turn out to be the dump truck driver.
Colin Kaepernik
Please go away!!! Why is this guy back in the picture? He is 34 years old and hasn’t played in 6 years. What is he going to do when he comes back. This guy loves taking a knee so maybe he becomes the knee specialist. Put him in late in the 4th quarter when the game has been decided and let him take a few knees to run out the clock. The NFL is doing fine and does not need him. Let him continue his great work as a civil activist. There are definitely a handful of players that would love to have him back in the league so that they can take his head off on a blitz and then the media will open up this whole can of worms on whether a hit on him was racially motivated. No teams should bring this guy in unless you want a media circus every week with him being the clown.
Jimmy Butler
Situation: Miami Heat down by 3 with 5 seconds left. They need a 3 pointer to tie and Eric Spoelstra looks over to his superstar Jimmy Butler and gives him the nod.
Jimmy Butler: “sorry coach..I can’t shoot a 3 pointer to save my life”
Eric Spoelstra: “Isn’t your nickname “Jimmy Buckets”…*sigh*???
A week later…Jimmy Butler with a “bucket” of popcorn watching the Celtics and Warriors in the Finals.
James and Chris
Harden and Paul both are known around the league as guys you don’t really want as your teammates. I was walking on the beach last week during the 90 degrees heat wave here in Boston and saw a washed up jellyfish and immediately thought of James Harden and Chris Paul. Harden and Paul are just washed up just like that jellyfish on the beach. Both of these guys are known around the NBA as bad teammates and will never win a championship. CP3 is as useless as C-3PO in Star Wars. C-3PO is just a glorified translator for babe magnet R2-D2. James Harden guaranteed will become the Stay Puft Marshmellow man after 1 year away from the NBA.
Luka Doncic
I onced knew a Luka and he lived on a second floor upstairs from me but I don’t know Luka Doncic but I know he has the ball in his hands 99% of the time and whines 99% of the time when he doesn’t get a foul call. 99% the Mavericks will not win a championship if he has the ball 99% of the time.
Jason Tatum
Jason Bourne meet Jason Tatum. Both guys have a skill set that makes them dangerous. Tatum can do everything and there is no weakness in his game. The next time you see Tatum execute the turn around step back fadeaway jump shot you can thank Kobe Bryant for that. Jason Tatum rightfully will win the Eastern Conference Larry Bird Trophy and will be NBA Finals 2022 MVP.
OBSERVATIONS…
First off….Prayers go out to the families of the teachers and kids that were killed in the Texas shootings. Nothing in life can compare to the devastation of a parent losing a young child. IF indeed the police did wait for more than an hour to go in then that is absolutely F*^% Up. The shooting has already started and is ongoing and every seconds could mean more deaths. There is no time for a damn plan from the police especially if they knew the shooter is just a kid. He is just pulling the trigger at every person he sees. Delay confronting the shooter for over an hour is absolutely unacceptable. Doesn’t the police department already know what to do given different situations when they have meetings? Or is it spent mostly ranking and arguing the best donuts and which donut shop has the best coffee. What a big FAIL from the police department.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS
(12/24/21) Enjoy the holidays everyone. We are headed toward the 2 minute warning to 2021. Let’s give thanks for a few things as Omicron is surging as we speak and closing down Christmas parties and canceling sporting events. This means less games to bet on and less money circulating the economy.
Let’s get sidetrack for a minute…**start of sidetrack** every time I hear the word Omicron it reminds me of something from my youth. Back in August of 1986, as soon as the car was parked, a bunch of us kids ran up to the sidewalk and was faced with a long line filled with other kids. This was the line for Transformer the Movie. It was a great movie with a great soundtrack and up to this day I still searched for “The Touch” on Youtube and relive old memories of standing in that line. Sometimes I would play this song before a fantasy draft to get pumped and hope the fantasy gods would empower me with making the correct decisions. The fantasy gods has come to my dreams last night and has revealed to me that Cooper Kupp should be the #1 overall fantasy pick for the upcoming season. Anyway, to get back to how the hell does Omicron reminds me of Transformer the Movie? Well, for those that did not see this awesome movie, in the movie there was this Transformer that was the size of a planet and before you think it is ridiculous and far fetched….it is not, it is perfectly believable compare to Jared Goff getting $33 million a year. That Transfomer was called Unicron and like Omicron tries to destroy everything in its path. The good news was that Unicron was destroyed at the end of the movie so this is good news as its just going to be a matter of time before Omicron follows the same path. **End of sidetrack**
Few things we are grateful for:
- Vaccine: Nothing matters if you are dead even if you hit a 10 team parlay
- Tom Brady: Enjoy it because the legend will be riding into the sunset
- Legalized sports betting: Save on paper and save the planet. No more envelopes passing back and forth.
- NFL Sunday ticket: Patriots fan stuck living in Detroit?..problem solved.
- NFL RedZone: One of humanities’ greatest ideas.
- Atlanta Braves: Baseball thank you for taking out the Astros
- Cooper Kupp: Leading your fantasy team to the promise land
- Rudolph the Reindeer: Christmas is saved and kids around the world will be getting presents including myself.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM YOUR FRIENDS AT PLAYBOOK!
BE NICE
(1/22/21) Forget Packers vs Buccaneers. Forget Bills vs Chiefs. Forget McGregor vs Poirier. Who really cares about who is going to the Superbowl? Who cares if McGregor will once again walk like a jellyfish. What we care about is Nelson Muntz aka Steven A. Smith need to be stopped.
What we need to see is a Steven A. Smith vs Max Kellerman boxing match. I think America would like to see this happen. HBO would like to see this happen. Pay Per View sales will go through the roof. The water is boiling over and the teapot is whistling on the stove. Every single time I watch ESPN’s First Take I just feel sorry for Max. I mean this guy is taking a verbal tongue lashing and the verbal abuse is just hard to bear. There are times I felt like dialing 911 and report a crime in progress. I just fear for Kellerman’s mental health after every single show. There are rumors that Smith makes Kellerman get him coffee during commercial breaks. I also need to wipe the spit off my TV screen after watching Smith constantly yelling nonstop. The CDC said that social distancing of 8 feet is enough but when it comes to Steven A. Smith’s yelling and screaming, it is recommended that Kellerman stays 80 feet from him to be consider safe distance.
Kellerman needs to step up to Steven A. Smith just like Neo did to Agent Smith in the Matrix. Most people think that Smith would destroy Kellerman in the ring. Not so fast my friend. I see the same result as the Nate Robinson and Jake Paul match. If Jake Paul wasn’t in a hurry to post more videos for his subscribers, he would have “played around with his food” like a cat for a few more rounds. Smith comes across as a fake tough guy just like Nate Robinson. Robinson is now quieter than a mouse on Christmas eve. I see him getting knocked out by Kellerman in the first 15 seconds. Smith will be himself yelling and screaming right from the opening bell. After the first few seconds he will be screaming phrases such as “Someone please throw in the towel!!”, “I have enough!!”, “stop the fight now!!” and “Max, don’t hurt me please!!”. I guess the saying that “Everybody is a tough guy until they get punch in the mouth” applies here. There goes America’s $49.99 pay per view but its totally worth it and for one Max Kellerman, his man card is reinstated.
YOU ARE HOME
(11/24/21) Thanksgiving is about friends and families. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to sit at the table and have the opportunity to pass the mash potatoes around or gets the honor of carving the first slice of turkey. Some of us are not even fortunate enough to sit at the kiddie table surrounded by 10 little kids all watching Tiktok on their Ipads. For those of you that has no place to be this Thanksgiving, there is a place you can call home and unlike “Cheers” probably nobody will know your name but you will be a part of the family this Thanksgiving.
Welcome to the sportsbook! Your “other” family gathering minus kids running and screaming. Instead you will be the kids, screaming and yelling with every play because its either turkey for dinner or you are the turkey.
Years ago, I was in a situation where I had no place to go for Thanksgiving. I was in Vegas so I decided that I was going to just head down to the sportsbook to spend my Thanksgiving. I placed a $500 investment on the Lions to cover. I was standing and watching the game and noticed the guy standing next to me got excited every time the Lions was in the red zone and would lose his mind if there was a flag against the Lions. It was a no brainer, I knew he had money on the Lions. I then told him that I also had money on the Lions. He said “cool man” and he started telling me that he loves Johnnie Morton. For the record, Johnnie Morton has the best end zone celebration ever in my book when he use to do the “worm”. For the next couple of hours, this guy and I felt like family even though we didn’t know each other’s name. We had a bond simply because we were both rooting for Detroit. He would high five me whenever the Lions scored a TD. I eventually asked him how come he didn’t spend Thanksgiving with his family and he said he doesn’t have a family. We chatted a little bit during the game and I bought him a beer. Hours later… Detroit end up covering. We then headed to the wager window to cash our tickets. I let him go first and it turned out he won $20 on the game. We wished each other Happy Thanksgiving and went our separate ways. Years later, I realized that even though the guy won just $20 he had a great time and I was glad to be a part of his Thanksgiving. It was also the last time I spent Thanksgiving at a Sportsbook.
The point of the story is that you can spend your Thanksgiving at a sportsbook and still have a great time and be surrounded by great people who are like your family rooting for each other because you all have Buffalo at -5.5 over the Saints.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
(11/26/20) Happy Thanksgiving to everyone from your friends at Playbook Perspective. It’s been a crazy 2020 for everyone but there is light at the end of the tunnel. It’s been 8 months since Covid-19 came into our lives and turned the world upside down. We human beings have been smack in the face, punch in the gut, body slammed and thrown off the cliff but we are going to survive because that’s what we human beings do. We will be back packing the bars, restaurants, strip clubs, stadiums, poker rooms, movie theaters, shopping malls, churches etc and we will have million of house parties across the United States soon enough when Covid is in the rear view mirror. We limp into this Thanksgiving still giving thanks to what we have. This year most of us will be celebrating Thanksgiving with less guest and families at the dining table but come next Thanksgiving is when we will really celebrate in grand fashion.
What Covid has taught us is that we need to appreciate and enjoy the simple things in life and more importantly the people around us. It can all be taken away in a blink of an eye.
We head into Thanksgiving with one last issue to deal with. Can we stop dissecting every single thing and just enjoy things for what it is. I enjoyed watching “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” ever since I was a kid and have watched it every single Thanksgiving ever since. Its like a tradition like the Cowboys and Lions playing on Thanksgiving Day.
This year social media decided to stir up controversy by bringing up the race card. Why is Franklin the lone black kid sitting by himself? Nobody wants to sit next to him? This is getting ridiculous. Who really cares??!! It is just a damn cartoon and its the same cartoon for the last 47 years!! Can we just enjoy this little 25 minutes cartoon for what it is and not try to find fault in it?? What is it going to be next for these social justice warrior? Hey, how come Franklin is sitting in a lawn chair? Is he not good enough to sit on a regular chair? How come the lawn chair is pink? Here is an idea. Let’s CGI more African American kids into the cartoon and have them sit next to Franklin? While we are at it, why don’t we have Franklin wear a “Black Lives Matter” shirt too!! Someone said it best…”Good grief” some people just have nothing better to do.
ANYONE SEEN THE REMOTE?
(10/21/20) Throwing the remote at the TV should be an Olympic sport. Some of you think its as simple as throwing a remote against a tv but au contraire mon frère (English translation: on the contrary my brother). Like everything, there is skill involve and there are some that can do it better than others. Let’s look at various factors involve.
TV size. Size always matter and in this case it matters a lot. Throwing your remote into a puny 24 inch is not as impressive as totally destroying a 98 inch TV. The other problem with a small TV is that you might miss the TV completely and that is a fail and a disqualification. Bonus points are given if a TV is 4k and is the latest model. It also hurt more if you just destroy a $8000 TV than a TV that you brought 15 years ago and is not cable ready.
The remote. The kind of remote doesn’t really matter much because remotes are cheap and easily replaceable. The size of the remote does matter because the bigger the remote the bigger the damage it can inflict on the screen.
The emotion. Anger is the key here. The more you lose your mind the better because judges want to see emotions. They want to see that you care sooooo much that nothing else matter at the moment such as your TV. You don’t even care about the verbal abuse that comes after your significant other sees what happen. No Netflix for her tonight. Anger level such as when you have $1000 on a game and a bench player puts up a meaningless 3 pointer at the buzzard to cause you to lose by .5 point. Anger level such as when the Seahawks decides to throw the ball at the 1 yard line against the Patriots in the Super Bowl and the pass was intercepted by Malcom Butler. Anger level such as when a RB is about to go into the end zone on the last play of the game that would have given you the fantasy championship and make you a legend but instead fumbles 1 inch from the end zone.
The MPH. Baseball has exit velocity. Remote throwing has incoming velocity. Judges will be using a speed gun to see how hard you are throwing the remote. Bottom line..Don’t throw like a girl if you expect to win.
The presentation. This will separate the winners from the wannabes. Judges want to see the whole package. Someone going absolutely bonkers. Someone throwing not just any remote but a remote that has 100 buttons buttons and that can even control a microwave. Someone hurling that remote 150 mph into a brand name flat screen TV and not some generic brand. They want to not only see cracked screens but explosions and smoke.
There you have it folks. Don’t bother looking for the remote anymore…its in the TV.
THE MOMENT
(9/23/20) The moment Black and White People set aside their differences. Someone please let Lebron James know there is hope.
CHANGES
(8/27/20) I want to be super rich tomorrow but I don’t want to work. I want people to just hand me bags of money. This is not how things will change.
We all want changes but the problem is we want other people to change around us for us. We are just going to remain the same and do the same thing. Black people are fighting for change but not once have I heard someone say maybe just maybe Black people need to change themselves. Thus far, no one has the guts to say this. They are just saying the same old thing over and over. Someone please tell the emperor he has no clothes on. Speak the truth and not what people wants to hear.
When you change yourself it cause a ripple effect. Think of throwing a pebble into the water. Once the pebble hits the water, it causes little ripples. You are that pebble. The ripple effect is the reaction to you. There cannot be a ripple without something happening to cause that ripple. Black people need to be that pebble. Change themselves and shed the stereotype. This will cause a ripple effect instead of trying to force changes but remaining the same.
The Luka Doncic situation was a very bad look for the NBA and for Blacks. The world may have kept quiet but they were paying attention. When you have a double standard you have a problem. Players preaching changes on racism but don’t want to speak up when one of them become a racist. Just because everyone kept quiet doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
NOT A DOG’S CHANCE
(7/4/20) “Hey, I am going to be late”. Those are the sweetest eight words in the English Dictionary. A sense of relief and celebration erupts across the backyard.
“Hey everyone!, where’s the food?” I am starving!!” Those are the most dreaded eight words in the English Dictionary. Groans, sadness and cursing fills the air.
Joey Chestnut AKA the Food Terminator has just arrived at your BBQ. July 4th is not just about celebrating America’s independence, its also about how many hot dogs can this legend consume. Let the record show that today July 4th, 2020..75 hot dogs disappeared into a black hole that is Joey Chestnut’s mouth.
He will be one of the most beloved “athlete” in American history. Its easy to love this guy. He doesn’t make billions of dollars. He doesn’t get involve with politics. He looks like your next door neighbor. He looks like the guy from work. He is like one of us.
Joey Chestnut may not be welcome at All-You-Can-Eat Buffets but he is always welcome at my BBQ on this glorious day the 4th of July. Please save some hot dogs for us.
PS. We can count. It’s seven words. Just to see if you were paying attention and not in a food coma.
“WOWSERS!”
(6/23/20) Inspector Gadget would have solve this case within a day. It has been 2 days and no findings? Something does not compute.
These cars are easily worth over $100,000 each and you are telling me there are no cameras? It is hard to believe. There are easily over $2 million dollar worth of inventory on site. In the history of NASCAR, are you telling me there have never been a single case of vandalism, sabotage or funny business going on?
There is a lot of money involve here. For example, the prize pool for the 2020 Daytona 500 is 23.6 million! The winning driver gets to take home $2 million. With all this money involve, it is hard to believe that NASCAR does not have cameras everywhere to protect themselves.
This should be an easy and shut case. The local police should have been enough to solve this case. Did the FBI and Department of Justice need to send a team there? Talk about wasting resource. Do we need to have 15 people gather around a video to see who did it? Oh yeah, let’s also get the media involve to make this more dramatic. If I experience a hate crime, are the FBI and Department of Justice coming to my aid? I am guessing no.
NASCAR needs to take a cue from Vegas. Have cameras everywhere and make every person feel like a movie star.
UPDATE 6/23/20 10:00PM
FBI found no hate crime has been committed. Basically its nothing to see. 3 seconds, 2 seconds, 1 second…that is the countdown to Bubba Wallace and his 15 minutes of fame. Apparently, there was some confusion to what a noose look like.
DO WE REALLY CARE
(6/13/20) It has been close to 3 months of no live sports. Do we really care if there are sports? You have your casual viewers but they probably can’t name more than 3 players on a different team. There are mainly 2 reasons why most of us care about sports. It is because of fantasy sports and gambling. These are the two biggest driving force.
Fantasy sports is responsible for converting casual fans into hard core friends. Who doesn’t love being a boss and running your own crew. If you do a good job you get respect, bragging rights and maybe a little extra money for Christmas presents. Its the only time where fans truly cares about a players health. You are pretty much a doctor and monitoring these guys health on a daily basis. If your team sucks then you sucks too. The other teams in your league ain’t going to feel sorry for you instead they will enjoy your downfall.
Sports gambling is a multi-billion dollar business in the US. Today we root for the Lakers, tomorrow we might root against the Lakers. There is no loyalty, people are just loyal to the team their money is on. When a final score is official, billions of dollars changes hand throughout the whole world. People want to see sports so they can gamble on them. When you get two bad teams playing each other, the only thing that would make you want to watch it if you have money on the game. The game then becomes interesting and more watchable.
In conclusion, the reality is we can live without sports if need be. There are other things that can keep us occupied. We are just sick of athletes and owners complaining and fighting over millions of dollars while most Americans are struggling financially.
NO MORE LAYUPS!
(6/12/20) All across our great nation, confederate statues and monuments are being taken down. They are reminders of a difficult time in our country. We need changes and its time we not let what happen in the pass haunt us.
White Athletes too have suffer great injustice and is looking for hope. We need to eliminate each and every single copy of the movie “White Men Can’t Jump”. Every dvd, VHS and digital copy of this movie needs to be deleted and destroyed. Streaming services need to put this movie on the ban list. White athletes do not need a reminder that the simple motion of jumping can be a vertical challenge.
Dunking a basketball is an impossible endeavor and a pipe dream. Resulting in layups after layups. We do appreciate the efforts of one Woody Harrelson in making the movie. There must have been many nights where he would cry himself to sleep. Always wondering why the basketball gods didn’t make the basketball rim 6 feet tall. It’s only fair that White athletes be able to enjoy the euphoria of a dunk as their African American athletes. It is easy to blame it on gravity but gravity doesn’t care if you want to dunk a basketball. We must never expose the next generation to “White Men Can’t Jump”. We must give them hope that White Men CAN Dunk.
CHANT: “NO MORE LAYUPS!!” “NO MORE LAYUPS!!”
ABOLISH THE POLICE?
(6/8/20)We understand that changes need to be made regarding police brutality. We also need to face that fact that not ALL as in 100% of white police officers are bad. Its good to have ideas on changes but one suggestion is absolutely absurd. Are we seriously considering abolishing police department all together?? Have we lost our minds? We are making decisions base on anger at the moment. !
To evaluate whether an idea is good or not you have to apply it to a scenario. So instead of police keeping order we are going to rely on social service programs and education? Let’s see if it works in certain scenario.
Scenario: 3 masked men is pulling up in my driveway with guns drawn. I dial 911 and gets a recording of “sorry, the number you have call is no longer in service, please call your local social service program for emergency”
Me: Social service? Yea, sorry to call you guys at 2am in the morning but there are three guys ready to rob my house. They have guns! help!
Social service: Do you know what time is it? Just call the police.
Me:ummm..we no longer has the police remember? You guys abolish all police departments! Can you come over and talk to these guys and maybe bring some pamphlet so they can read and become nicer people and maybe not rob me. Hurry please, one of them is pointing a gun at me.
Social service: oh yea. that’s right! we did get rid of the police. oops, sorry.. I would recommend talking nice to them, let them take what they want and pray. Good luck! *click* (hangs up phone)
TWO HOURS LATER:
THANK YOU SOCIAL SERVICE PROGRAM!
LOOTING SOLUTION #2
(The Statue of Liberty)
David Copperfield once made the Statue of Liberty disappear and now it’s time to make items disappear and also looters. David Copperfield will be brought in to use mirrors near the entrance. As looters break in, all they see are empty shelves and would turn around and go somewhere else. What happens when you have a few looters that wants to take a closer look and walk in further. This is where a giant trap door is created near the entrance. It will stretch from wall to wall and their is no way of getting around it. As the looter walks further in, he will fall through the trap door down into a holding cell. The holding cell will be sound proof so all looters stuck in the holding cell cannot warn other looters coming in. Store saved and insurance company is happy. Time for Mr. Copperfield to take a bow and disappear.
LOOTING SOLUTION #1
(The Popeye)
1.Install video cameras all over the store.
2. Pour oil olive on the floor of every aisle and pay specific attention to the electronics department. An extra gallon or two on the floor would be great. Wipe olive oil all over the boxes of the tvs. Before doing that, take out the TVs and replace it with alot of rocks. The heavier the better.
3.Turn off all the lights in the store until the right moment to turn it on
4. Stream live the cameras on Youtube
5.Sit back and watch a great show. Buttered popcorn is recommended along with a soda beverage. When looters come in they would slide and fall all over the place. Trying carrying out a slippery TV covered with olive oil and if they do manage to get that TV home. They would thank the store for providing them rocks for their landscaping plans.